We’re No. 133! Zeroing in on UMass and the rest of the Bottom 10
-
Ryan McGee, ESPN Senior Writer
Inspirational thought of the week:
I wonder when I wander home If I’ll be fit to drink alone.
Sleep with my memories, pictures, apologies.
For every minute yesterday, regret reminds me anyway.
If I remember anything, I’ll make mistakes again.
Last night on the Mass Pike, thought I was losing you.
— “Mass Pike,” The Get Up Kids
Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located at the back of the very long line of coaches impatiently waiting to share inside information with Pete Thamel, we don’t work year-round — it just feels that way. We do, in fact, take offseason trips with our families.
For instance, just last month I took the McGees to Boston, where we did all the touristy stuff, including an historic boat tour of Boston Harbor. I was standing on the top deck of the ship when I was approached by a very large human in a Minuteman costume. I’m assuming he was on a break from his period-accurate tour-guiding, because as he sidled up to me port side, he was burning a Marlboro Red.
“Hey, aren’t you the effing Bottom 10 guy?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Here with ya family, are you?”
“Yes, I am.”
“You see that ship over there?”
“Yes, I do.”
“That’s where the Boston Tea Party happened. Those guys threw 340 chests of British East India Company tea overboard into that water. 92,000 pounds. That’s 46 tons of tea. That’s a helluva lot of tea.”
“Yes, it is.”
“If someone does something stupid to make a bunch of other someones mad, those angry people, they will do anything to get their message sent.”
“Yes, they will.”
“Like, say, overtaxing tea. Or, I dunno, putting my effing alma mater back at the top of the effing preseason Bottom 10 after they also had my effing alma mater at the top of the effing Bottom 10 pretty much all last effing season, too. Throwing you into the harbor would be a lot easier for one Minuteman as big as me.”
“Yes, it would.”
“Just something to think about before we play New Mexico State on Saturday. Have a nice effing day.”
With apologies to Sam Adams, John Hancock, Rene Ingoglia and Steve Harvey, here’s the 2023 Preseason Bottom 10.
1. UMess
Sorry, Minuteman Tour Guide Guy, but hey, I’m an excellent swimmer. And yes, UMass opens the season with the Pillow Fight of the Week of the Year: Episode I with a trip to natural regional rival New Mexico State.
2. #Kentergy
The Golden Flashes have a new coach in Kenni Burns, who has been preaching the mantra of “Kent Grit.” I’ve eaten a lot of grits in my Carolina-raised life, but never in Ohio. Also, after Kent State is done with its first two games — trips to UCF and Arkansas, where the Flashes are estimated by ESPN’s mystical and magical FPI to have a 6% chance of winning each — we should call Ken Burns, the documentarian, and have him do a film about Kenni Burns. I can already hear Peter Coyote’s voice set to piano music: “They called it ‘Kent Grit’…”
3. ULM (pronounced “uhlm”)
The good news? Terry Bowden is back for his third season, looking to get over the hump after back-to-back 4-8 campaigns. The bad news? He’s pretty much the only person who stayed. The Warhawks lost more players to the transfer portal than I have lost socks to the laundromat dryer.
4. North by Northworstern
When the Wildcats finished last season 1-11 and wound up No. 4 in the final 2022 Bottom 10, no one thought the situation in Evanston could get any worse. Then the vaunted Northwestern student newspaper said, “Hold my Helles Lager from Double Clutch Brewing Company.”
5. Rand-McNally
Traditionally, the Coveted Fifth spot goes to an organization that has enjoyed great success and esteem earned over decades of excellence, but has suddenly and inexplicably suffered an unforeseen series of losses. After this latest round of conference realignment, no one looks more useless and out of touch than mapmakers.
6. Sam Houston, we have a problem
After decades of success at the lower levels of college football, the Bearkats have moved up to FBS football as members of the new-look Conference USA. A large chunk of this roster was also on the field when SH won the FCS spring season natty in 2021. But if they try to bring that up this September while playing BYU, Air Force or Houston, their new FCS foes will politely tell SH to “Shhhhh.”
7. Jacksonville State Other Gamecocks
The Jacksonville that isn’t in Florida also moves up to FCS via C-USA this season. The Gamecocks visit Sam Houston on Sept. 28 in a prime-time Pillow Fight candidate game. They also have a defensive end named J-Rock, quarterback Zion Webb is playing his seventh year of college football and their coach is Rich Rodriguez. If Ken Burns makes that movie about Kent State, then Jax State deserves Quentin Tarantino.
8. Charlotte 3-and-9’ers
Speaking of head coaches, Charlotte’s new boss is Biff Poggi, who smokes cigars, wears cutoff T-shirts like he’s walking his dog on Myrtle Beach, has a “Hard Knocks”-style reality show coming to ESPN+ and is self-made rich via success as a hedge fund investor, even donating $500,000 of his salary back into the program. He’s not Coach Prime Time. He’s Coach Big Time.
9. Whew Mexico No-Bos
While our world focuses on the Week 0 showdown between UMass and Whew Mexico State, don’t sleep on Weeks 3 and 4 when the No-Bos host State, then travel to Amherst seven days later. One month after that, they go back-to-back with 2022 Bottom 10 members No-vada and Huh-why-yuh. That’s some serious strength of schedule. As in SOS — the one ships send up when they’ve run out of fuel in the middle of the ocean. You know, like in New Mexico.
10. FI(not A)U
Mike McIntyre’s first head coaching job was at San Jose State. Then he moved 1,300 miles east to be head coach at Colorado. Then he moved 2,100 miles east to Florida International. By our calculations, his next job should be at Université Cheikh Anta Diop in Dakar, 4,000 miles east of Miami.
Waiting list: Western Not Eastern Michigan, Akronmonious, Boiling Green, No-vada, Huh-why-yuh, Texas State Armadillos, Baller State, US(not C)F, Arkansas State Fightin’ Butches
The 2025 MLB All-Star Home Run Derby is fast approaching — and the field is starting to take shape.
Braves hometown hero Ronald Acuna Jr. become the first player to commit to the event, which will be held at Truist Park in Atlanta on July 14 (8 p.m. ET on ESPN). He has since been followed by MLB home run leader Cal Raleigh of the Seattle Mariners, James Wood of the Washington Nationals and Byron Buxton of the Minnesota Twins.
As the entrants are announced, we’ll add them to the running list below — and break down their chances at taking home this year’s Derby prize.
Full All-Star Game coverage: How to watch, schedule, rosters, more
2025 home runs: 9 | Longest: 467 feet
Why he could win: Acuna has been crushing it since he returned to the lineup May 23 after knee surgery. Indeed, his numbers are even better than during his MVP season in 2023. It should help that he’ll be hitting in front of his home fans in Atlanta: Todd Frazier in Cincinnati in 2015 and Bryce Harper with the Nationals in 2018 rode the loud support to Derby titles. Acuna’s raw power should also translate well to the Derby: Among players with at least 500 at-bats since 2023, he has the longest average home run distance in the majors.
Why he might not: Will he run into Pete Alonso again? Acuna competed in the 2019 and 2022 contests, losing both times to Alonso by a single home run (in the semifinals in 2019 and in the first round in 2022). The home-field advantage can also perhaps be a detriment if a player gets too hyped up in the first round. See Julio Rodriguez in Seattle in 2023, when he had a monster first with 41 home runs but then tired out in the second round.
2025 home runs: 35 | Longest: 440 feet
Why he could win: It’s the season of Cal! The Mariners’ catcher is having one of the greatest slugging first halves in MLB history, with 32 home runs, as he’s been crushing mistakes all season . His easy raw power might be tailor-made for the Derby — he ranks in the 87th percentile in average exit velocity and delivers the ball, on average, at the optimal home run launch angle of 23 degrees. His calm demeanor might also be perfect for the contest as he won’t get too amped up.
Why he might not: He’s a catcher — and one who has carried a heavy workload, playing in all but one game this season. This contest is as much about stamina as anything, and whether Raleigh can carry his power through three rounds would be a concern. No catcher has ever won the Derby, with only Ivan Rodriguez back in 2005 even reaching the finals.
2025 home runs: 23 | Longest: 451 feet
Why he could win: He’s big, he’s strong, he’s young, he’s awesome, he might or might not be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. This is the perfect opportunity for Wood to show his talent on the national stage, and he wouldn’t be the first young player to star in the Derby. He ranks in the 97th percentile in average exit velocity and 99th percentile in hard-hit rate, so he can still muscle the ball out in BP even if he slightly mishits it. His long arms might be viewed as a detriment, but remember the similarly tall Aaron Judge won in 2017.
Why he might not: His natural swing isn’t a pure uppercut — he has a pretty low average launch angle of just 6.2 degrees — so we’ll see how that plays in a rapid-fire session. In real games, his power is primarily to the opposite field, but in a Home Run Derby you can get more cheapies pulling the ball down the line.
2025 home runs: 20 | Longest: 479 feet
Why he can win: Buxton’s raw power remains as impressive as nearly any hitter in the game. He crushed a 479-foot home run earlier this season and has four others of at least 425 feet. Indeed, his “no doubter” percentage — home runs that would be out of all 30 parks based on distance — is 75%, the highest in the majors among players with more than a dozen home runs. His bat speed ranks in the 89th percentile. In other words, two tools that could translate to a BP lightning show.
Why he won’t: Buxton is 31 and the Home Run Derby feels a little more like a younger man’s competition. Teoscar Hernandez did win last year at age 31, but before that, the last winner older than 29 was David Ortiz in 2010, and that was under much different rules than are used now.
KANSAS CITY, Mo. — The Pittsburgh Pirates are back on the board after Tommy Pham‘s two-run home run in the third inning at Kansas City on Monday night ended a 30-inning scoreless streak.
The Pirates had been shut out in all three games at Seattle during their previous series.
However, they tallied another loss against the Royals, losing 9-3.
The scoreless streak included Sunday’s 1-0 loss to the Mariners in which Pittsburgh ace Paul Skenes threw 10 strikeouts in five scoreless innings before the Pirates gave up a run in the bottom of the sixth.
Before beginning this nine-game trip with the sweep by the Mariners, the Pirates had blanked the St. Louis Cardinals in three consecutive home games. Their streak of playing in six straight shutouts matched the longest in major league history.
Pham, a 12-year veteran who is in his first season with the Pirates, bookended the scoreless skid with RBIs. He drove in a seventh-inning run with a groundout Wednesday during the 5-0 victory over the Cardinals.
The Associated Press contributed to this report.
-
Sports3 years ago‘Storybook stuff’: Inside the night Bryce Harper sent the Phillies to the World Series
-
Sports1 year agoStory injured on diving stop, exits Red Sox game
-
Sports2 years agoGame 1 of WS least-watched in recorded history
-
Sports2 years agoMLB Rank 2023: Ranking baseball’s top 100 players
-
Sports4 years ago
Team Europe easily wins 4th straight Laver Cup
-
Environment2 years agoJapan and South Korea have a lot at stake in a free and open South China Sea
-
Sports2 years agoButton battles heat exhaustion in NASCAR debut
-
Environment2 years agoGame-changing Lectric XPedition launched as affordable electric cargo bike