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[Editor’s note: The letdown after UConn-UMass is very real, but a pair of Pac-12 teams are stepping up (or down?) to save the day in Arizona and Colorado. Meanwhile, what’s an NFL team doing in here?]

Inspirational thought of the week:

Where do we go from here, now that all of the children have grown up?

And how do we spend our time knowin’ nobody gives us a damn?

I don’t wanna live here no more, I don’t wanna stay

Ain’t gonna spend the rest of my life quietly fading away

— “Where Do We Go From Here?” The Alan Parsons Project

Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located in the room at ESPN where Andre Ware, Robert Griffin III, Desmond Howard and Tim Tebow keep their Heisman trophies (and, yes, at night they totally pull a “Toy Story” and run the Oklahoma drill when no humans are around), we have spent the past several days reflecting on a conversation we once had with Scott Carpenter, one of the original Mercury 7 astronauts.

I asked Carpenter if there was one secret about America’s space heroes, something few truly understood, about their daring lives. He replied, “A very common problem for all of us has been depression. Why is that? Because we accomplished things at young ages that we knew we could never exceed. Most of the men who walked on the moon were in their 30s. You look ahead to the rest of your life and think, ‘I peaked so big, so early; where can I possibly go from here?’ You are charged with finding another great challenge.”

This is the mental space within which we have found ourselves trapped ever since dinnertime Saturday night. Because after two years of buildup, the UConn-UMass football game was over.

While the Minutemen celebrated their first win in 17 games and the Huskies did not, we stared forlornly out the window and into the remainder of the 2021 season. Where indeed were we supposed go from here? Then a friend of mine in Boulder, Colorado, hometown of Scott Carpenter, texted me: “HOLY COW HOW BAD IS THIS ARIZONA VS BUFFS GAME GONNA BE NEXT WEEK?”

Commander Carpenter, we have found another great challenge.

With apologies to Charles Frank, John Glenn, Dan Orlovsky (again) and Steve Harvey, here’s the 2021 Week 6 Bottom 10 rankings.

1. U-Can’t (0-7)

The nation’s first seven-loss team is now up to 11 games — and one year and 11½ months — without a victory. This weekend, it plays a nonscholarship FCS 2-2 Ivy League team in Yale … and ESPN’s sorcerously accurate FPI computers say that there is only a 40% chance that the Huskies will beat the Bulldogs. Woof.

2. unLv (0-5)

One week ago, the Fightin’ Tarks had already matched UConn’s drought by losing their 11th straight. They also have suffered injuries to all three quarterbacks. And this weekend, they are a touchdown underdog to visiting Utah State. What’s worse, the Roomba people just did an inspection of Allegiant Stadium, and it’s all clogged up with Legos, Skittles and Barbie shoes.

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End zone! Brittain Brown scores a 48-yard rushing touchdown versus Arizona.

3. By the Time I Get to Arizona (0-5)

Arizona travels to face the Colora-duh Muffaloes, who failed to cover the spread against Open Date U. after falling to 1-4 on Oct. 2. If Arizona loses this Mountain Time edition of the Pillow Fight of the Week, this will officially be the worst performance by a group of Wildcats since “High School Musical 2.”

4. FI(not A)U (1-5)

We owe Conference USA an apology. While we were fixating on our usual Bottom 10 haunts of the #MACtion and the Mountain West West, Conference USA has produced not one, not two, not three … but five one-win teams. The top/bottom of those squads can be found on the Butch Davis Retirement Tour, where the Panthers’ only win this season was against the Long Island University Sharks, who are apparently an actual thing. Now, Florida International will spend four of its last six games facing fellow one-win teams, starting this weekend with the 1-4 Western Kentucky Shrilltoppers, followed by Old Duh-Minions, the North Texas Lean Green and Southern Missed. It’s a C-USA round-robin, if round-robin means a robin who drank too many rounds.

5. Jacksonville Jaguars (0-5)

Yeah, we know this is an NFL team sitting in the Coveted Fifth Spot, but the Jaguars’ quarterback and their coach were both in college like an hour ago, and they are currently operating at a substandard level of football that is certainly worthy of standing, or falling, alongside these fellow hot messes from the collegiate ranks. Plus, I haven’t written or said anything to make Ohio State fans mad in several weeks, so I’m due.

6. UMess (1-5)

Great moment. Great win. Great defeat of one’s closest rival in UConn. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves here, Minutemen. Wait … actually, yes, let’s do get ahead of ourselves here, looking ahead to Thanksgiving and a trip to …

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Berdale Robins rips the ball out and takes it all the way to the house for a 25-yard TD.

7. Whew Mexico State (1-6)

While the Other Aggies were in the process of surrendering six TD passes in a 55-28 loss to Nevada at the exact same time that Texas A&M was upsetting Alabama and two weeks ahead of their game with Utah State, we received a tweet from Bottom 10 devotee Ken Langston that read: “Since Whew Mexico St. is worse than both Texas A&M and Utah St. shouldn’t they be the Other Other Aggies?”

8. Kansas Nayhawks (1-4)

As many Nayhawks fans have reminded me, they are already concentrating on hoops, as basketball practice began Oct. 1 with Late Night in the Phog. In related news, this weekend marks the start of a seven-week stretch of Big 12 conference games to end the 2021 football season, aka All Fall in the Fog.

9. Arkansaw State (1-4)

On Monday, Red Wolves coach Butch Jones said to the Little Rock Touchdown Club, “I know there are a lot of Razorback fans here, but let us be your B team until we play in 2025.” Then he added, “We are going to build an SEC atmosphere in our locker room at Arkansas State.” When asked how he was going to build that, he said hard work. What he meant to say was by using that SEC paycheck from Arkansas.

10. Bowling in Akron in Ohio (2-4/2-4/1-5)

The Akron Zips were favored to beat Ohio Not State two weeks ago but lost 34-17. Then they turned around and beat Boiling Green in a game where they were listed as a two-TD underdog. Meanwhile, Ohio followed up its win over Akron by blowing a fourth-quarter lead at home against Central Michigan. So now, Akron has more wins than Ohio, but Ohio’s only win was against Akron and … clearly we know Zip about how any of this works.

Waiting list: US(not C)F, Tulame, Tulsa Folden Hurricane, The Yew, Western Kentucky Shrilltoppers, Old Duh-minions, Southern Missed, North Texas Lean Green, Colora-duh State, Cow Berkeley, Georgia State Not Southern, Georgia Southern Not State, COVID-19.

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Rebuilding Flyers hire Tocchet as head coach

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Rebuilding Flyers hire Tocchet as head coach

The Philadelphia Flyers have hired Rick Tocchet as their next head coach, it was announced Wednesday.

The framework of the deal puts Tocchet among the highest-paid coaches in the NHL, sources told ESPN.

“I am very happy to welcome Rick Tocchet as our head coach,” general manager Daniel Briere said in a statement. “During this process it became clear that Rick was the absolute right coach to lead our team. He has enjoyed the highest level of success both as a player and coach.

“Rick’s ability to teach and understand his players, combined with his passion for winning, brings out the best in young players at different stages of their development and has earned the respect and confidence of highly talented All-Stars and veteran players alike.”

Tocchet, 61, is already in the Flyers Hall of Fame after spending parts of 11 seasons with the team during his 18-year playing career.

The Flyers still consider themselves in a rebuild phase after missing the playoffs for the fifth consecutive season. Philadelphia fired John Tortorella in March after philosophical differences emerged between the coach and the front office.

Brad Shaw served as interim coach for the remainder of the season, and the Flyers (33-39-10) finished tied for last place in the Eastern Conference.

“I’ve always been a Flyer at heart and have taken that passion and energy that embodies this city and organization with me throughout my career,” Tocchet said. “… I couldn’t be more excited to lead this team back among the NHL elite where we belong. We have a lot of work to do and much to accomplish, but I am confident in the direction we are heading and determined to get us there.”

Tocchet, who stepped down as coach of the Vancouver Canucks after the season as his three-year contract expired, was among the most desirable candidates in a crowded coaching market.

According to sources, Tocchet also spoke with the Seattle Kraken and the Anaheim Ducks, who never formally interviewed Tocchet before hiring Joel Quenneville last week. The Boston Bruins also had Tocchet high on their list.

“What is impressive about Rick is that players gravitate towards him and develop a strong relationship in the process,” team president Keith Jones said in a statement. “There is a genuine trust that he will do everything he can to bring success to the team.”

Tocchet was also considering a return to television next season, sources told ESPN, after he served as a regular on TNT’s coverage before joining the Canucks. He has also appeared on the network’s coverage during the 2024-25 Stanley Cup playoffs.

Tocchet left Vancouver just one year removed from winning the Jack Adams Award. The Canucks, after a season of turmoil that included the trade of center J.T. Miller to the New York Rangers, missed the playoffs by six points.

Tocchet, who replaced Bruce Boudreau as Canucks coach in January 2023, had previous head coaching stints with the Tampa Bay Lightning and Arizona Coyotes. His career NHL coaching record is 286-265-87 in the regular season and 11-11 in the playoffs.

Tocchet, who also played for the Coyotes, becomes the 14th individual to have played for/coached multiple teams in NHL history, according to ESPN Research. That list also includes Craig Berube, who played for/coached the Flyers and now the Maple Leafs, and Jim Montgomery, who played for/coached the Stars and now the Blues.

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Thompson powers U.S. past Norway in overtime

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Thompson powers U.S. past Norway in overtime

HERNING, Denmark — Tage Thompson completed his hat trick with a power-play goal in overtime to give the United States a 6-5 win over Norway after the Americans squandered a four-goal lead at the ice hockey world championship on Wednesday.

Norway forced overtime when defenseman Stian Solberg scored with 1:27 left in regulation, as the Anaheim Ducks prospect completed a hat trick of his own.

Thompson, a Buffalo Sabres center, scored the winner 4:09 into overtime for the U.S., which has eight points in Group B while Norway earns its first point.

“We did some good things and it was obviously great to get the win,” U.S. head coach Ryan Warsofsky said. “We’ll build on this as we get set to take on a very good Germany team on Saturday.”

For the Americans, captain Clayton Keller had a goal and two assists, and Cutter Gauthier and Michael McCarron added a goal each for the U.S. to rebound from a loss to Switzerland.

Gauthier put the U.S. 1-0 ahead 4:50 into the game before Keller hit the top corner of the net to double the lead 7:18 into the frame.

Gauthier is tied with Canada forward Bo Horvat atop the goal scoring table with four goals.

Solberg reduced the deficit to 2-1 on the power play before Thompson and McCarron completed the four-goal period for the U.S.

Thompson added his second 2:55 into the middle period for a 5-1 lead.

Norway was not done, though.

Solberg had his second goal on a power play for Norway to trail 5-2 and Martin Ronnild added another one on a breakaway still in the frame.

Midway through the third, Noah Steen made it a one-goal game before Norway pulled its goalie for an extra attacker — and Solberg scored to make it 5-5.

“It was an important game for us and taking a point was huge,” Solberg said. “I am happy for the team and happy for myself.”

Columbus Blue Jackets defenseman Zach Werenski had an assist for the U.S. in his first game at the worlds. He arrived Monday but his equipment was delayed and he couldn’t play in the 3-0 loss to Switzerland that day.

Werenski is one of three finalists for the Norris Trophy given to the NHL’s top defenseman.

In Stockholm, Slovakia beat France 2-1 for its second win. France remains on one point.

Sweden faces Latvia later in the day in Stockholm while Denmark plays Kazakhstan in Herning.

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Canucks elevate assistant Foote to head coach

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Canucks elevate assistant Foote to head coach

The Vancouver Canucks have named Adam Foote as their new head coach, the team announced Wednesday.

Foote, 53, had served as an assistant coach under head coach Rick Tocchet for the last three seasons. His only previous head coaching experience was one season behind the bench of the WHL Kelowna Rockets, going 29-28-6 in 63 games in 2019-20.

He’s the 22nd head coach in franchise history. TSN reported that Foote agreed to a three-year deal.

Tocchet stepped down after his three-year contract expired at the conclusion of the 2024-25 season. Vancouver opted not to exercise its contract option on Tocchet, having instead offered him a large extension. Team president Jim Rutherford said that the Canucks “did everything in our power” to retain Tocchet but that “he may have his mind somewhere else.”

Sources told ESPN on Wednesday that Tocchet will be the next head coach of the Philadelphia Flyers, with whom he played for 11 seasons.

Foote won two Stanley Cups as a player with the Colorado Avalanche (1996 and 2001) and was considered one of the NHL’s premier defensive defensemen during his 19-season career. Foote also played for the Quebec Nordiques before the franchise moved to Colorado and for the Columbus Blue Jackets.

“His past experiences on the ice have translated nicely into a coaching style that fits our organization’s goals and vision. He has worked extremely hard the past few years, gaining our players’ respect and trust for his strong communication and honest, straightforward opinion. He knows this group better than anyone else we interviewed and has inside knowledge and understanding of what it will take to get us back to where we want to be,” Canucks GM Patrik Allvin said.

Foote wasn’t the only internal candidate interviewed for the Vancouver head coaching job. AHL Abbotsford head coach Manny Malhotra was also under consideration.

Foote takes over a Canucks team that failed to make the playoffs after advancing to the second round in 2023-24. Vancouver has made the postseason only twice in the past 10 NHL seasons. The Canucks face a series of questions heading into next season, from the fate of free agent winger Brock Boeser to how to get 26-year-old star center Elias Pettersson back on track offensively. But the hiring of Foote might serve to address another one of the team’s uncertainties: the fate of captain Quinn Hughes.

The defenseman is signed through the 2026-27 season, but Rutherford recently sparked speculation that Hughes might seek to eventually leave Vancouver to play with brothers Jack and Luke, who are currently with the New Jersey Devils.

“He’s said before he wants to play with his brothers, and that would be partly out of our control,” Rutherford said.

Foote spent the past two seasons working with the team’s defensemen. They were the two best seasons of Quinn Hughes’ NHL career, with him winning the Norris Trophy in 2023-24 and being a finalist for the award again this season. Now, the man who got the best out of the captain is sticking around as the team’s new head coach.

Cal Foote, son of Adam Foote, is one of five players from Canada’s 2018 world junior championships team facing sexual assault charges from an incident in a London, Ontario, hotel room. The trial is ongoing. All five players have pleaded not guilty.

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