Monday morning on the floor Keep calling out for more and more Stand up and get up, are you sure? Best friend kicks you out the door Upside down you lost the wheel Raise your neck and bellow it out
Bad candy has got you now Bad candy has got you now
— “Bad Candy,” Twisted Wheel
Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located across the hallway from the mail room where David Pollack sends out his weekly handwritten complaints to referees to politely dispute every targeting call ever made, we are rifling through the bottom of the pillowcase we used on Halloween, sifting through that always sad selection of sweets that is left over as November arrives and trick-or-treating begins to grow smaller in our rearview mirrors.
No, it’s not a collection of Charlie Brown rocks, but there is a pile of those brown and orange wax paper-covered blobs that might as well be rocks. There’s the telltale dust of tasteless Necco Wafers that escaped from their wrappers to be pulverized into the cloth of the bag. There are Mary Janes, whatever those are. There’s candy corn with the skid mark of fake chocolate in the middle.
And look … there’s a sticker of the UMass logo, loose with lint and a toenail clipping stuck to the back of it. There’s an old No. 2 pencil that was stolen from a classroom at Akron. Then … wait … what’s this? An envelope? With the University of Connecticut seal in the corner? What’s inside? Is that … University of Maryland letterhead? It is! It has a $100 bill stapled to it. And what’s this note that’s scribbled on the stationery?
“Dear Kid. Here’s some of my bonus money from that time my team kicked a field goal against Liberty, triggering my ‘Field Goal In Every Game Even If It’s A Loss’ bonus. Now, take it and get the hell off my lawn. Boo. Sincerely, Randy Edsall.”
With apologies to Willy Wonka, West Virginia safety Hershey McLaurin and Steve Harvey, here’s the post-Week 9 Bottom 10 rankings.
1. UMess (1-7)
The Minutemen served as the latest rung in the ladder Whew Mexico State has stepped on during their climb from being ranked at the top/bottom of these standings up and into the outside world. Think that scene in “The Dark Knight Rises” when Bruce Wayne climbs out of that giant prison hole, but if you could actually understand what anyone was saying. Come to think of it, the desert he found himself in kind of looked like Las Cruces. Next the Minutemen play The Artist Formerly Known As UCant, which is now in the business of putting teams in the Bottom 10 in their place. In related news, ESPN.com editor Steve Richards was on site as our Bottom 10 bureau reporter, but sources tell me he was escorted off the premises after repeatedly heckling the Other Aggies for “abandoning us!”
Speaking of teams that used to be in these rankings all the time but now are actually good — wait, don’t be confused, that wasn’t about Akron. It 100 percent deserves to be there. But it also is currently located in the midst of a schedule section packed with former Bottom 10 friends who have inexplicably left us behind. Akron just lost in overtime to My Hammy of Ohio, which is now only one game below .500. Now Akron faces the former Bottom 10 champion Eastern Michigan University Emus and the former contender Buffalo Bulls Not Bills, who have been to a combined seven bowl games since 2016. Then Akron will zip over to Northern Ill-ugh-noise for Thanksgiving, when we might all be thankful for a potential Pillow Fight of the End of the Year.
3. Colora-duh (1-7)
Speaking of Pillow Fights of the Week, the Buffs were rebuffed by then-Bottom 10 Wait Listers Arizona Skate. Both teams showed up for the game without a full-time head coach. It was like that time we had a class field trip to the zoo in third grade and the teacher forgot to show up. My pal Jody Blanton drove the bus over 30 mailboxes and 19 shrubs, but we got there.
4. No-vada (2-7)
The Oof Pack lost their seventh straight game. It’s the worst streak in Reno involving the word straight since a banker from Los Angeles tried to play a Broadway straight by using a queen of hearts that he’d snuck onto the Circus Circus casino floor inside his Members Only jacket sleeve and was last seen riding on a bass boat at Lake Tahoe alongside a hotel sales associate named Vinny Drywall.
5. “I’m a man I’m (losing by) forty (eight)!” (6-2)
Ah, the traditions of autumn. Leaves falling. Pumpkin spice everywhere. Political ads ruining everyone’s good mood. Oklahoma State losing a game that knocked them out of the Top 10 and into the Coveted Fifth Spot.
6. US(notC)F (1-6)
In Jeff Scott’s defense, it can’t be easy trying to coach your own team when your phone is constantly being blown up by Dabo Swinney asking, “Hey, bud, can you refresh my memory about those plays we used to run back in 2017?”
7. Temple of Doom (2-7)
The Temple Bowels have, er, passed a lot of teams this week thanks to back-to-back losses to a pair of Bottom 10 flirts in Living On Tulsa Time and Navy. Now, they host USF in the Pillow Fight of the Week. The Owls’ feathers are molting so badly that according to the magically and disturbingly accurate ESPN FPI computers, they have only a 40% chance of prevailing at home against a team with one win that is ranked one spot ahead/below them in these rankings. Then again, maybe as they were doing research for this game, the ESPN Stats & Info staffers ordered up some Philly cheesesteaks and got Cheez Whiz all over their calculators.
8. North by Northworstern (1-7)
Speaking of crunching numbers, there are a lot of really smart human calculators at Northwestern, home to one of Earth’s most respected mathematics and statistics departments. Perhaps they can explain how a team surrenders 33 points to Iowa, which has spent all fall avoiding end zones as if they were full of killer bees.
9. Huh-why-yuh (2-7)
The Rainbow Warriors will finish the season facing a quartet of fellow Mountain West members in Fresno State, Utah State, UNLV and San Jose State. The bad news? According to FPI, over the month they will average around a 22% chance of winning any one of those games. The good news? If they go 0-4 and make a late run at the Bottom 10 title, they will still spend their offseason in Hawai’i.
10. #gobc(c) (2-6)
Boston College and UConn are located only 80 miles apart, yet last weekend was just the 15th meeting since their first matchup back on Nov. 7, 1908. It was also the Huskies’ first-ever win over the Eagles. That’s what happens when you score only three points. Unless you’re Miami and Virginia and you only score three points, but you just keep doing that over and over again. Reminder: BC beat Louisville, who just crushed Wake Forest, who beat Florida State, who beat LSU, who beat Ole Miss, who beat Miami, who beat Virginia Tech, who beat Boston College who … aw hell, I give up. #goacc indeed.
Waiting List: Charlotte 2-and-7ers, Virginia Tech No-kies, Lose-iana Tech, Arkan-saw State, Northern Ill-ugh-noise, Central not Western or Eastern Michigan, Whew Mexico, ULM (pronounced “Uhlm”), political ads during great games, saying “Let’s ride!”
AVONDALE, Ariz. — Christopher Bell became the first NASCAR Cup Series driver to win three straight races in the NextGen car, holding off Joe Gibbs Racing teammate Denny Hamlin by 0.049 seconds to win the second-closest race in Phoenix Raceway history Sunday.
Bell started 11th in the 312-mile race after winning at Atlanta and Circuit of America the previous two weeks. The JGR driver took the lead out of the pits on a caution and stayed out front on two late restarts to become the first driver to win three straight races since Kyle Larson in 2021.
The second restart led to some tense moments between Bell and Hamlin — enough to make their team owner feel a bit queasy.
“I was ready to upchuck,” JGR Racing owner Joe Gibbs said.
Bell became the fourth driver in Cup Series history to win three times in the first four races — and the first since Kevin Harvick in 2018. The last Cup Series driver to win four straight races was Jimmie Johnson in 2007.
“We’ve had four races this year, put ourselves in position in all four and managed to win three, which is a pretty remarkable batting average — something that will be hard to maintain, I believe,” Bell’s crew chief Adam Stevens said.
The Phoenix race was the first since Richmond last year to give teams two sets of option tires. The option red tires have much better grip, but start to fall off after about 35 laps, creating an added strategic element.
A handful of racers went to the red tires early — Joey Logano and Ryan Preece among them — and it paid off with runs to the lead before they fell back.
Bell was among those who had a set of red tires left for the final stretch and used it to his advantage, pulling away from Hamlin on a restart with 17 laps left.
Hamlin pulled alongside Bell over the final two laps after the last restart and the two bumped a couple of times before rounding into the final two turns. Bell barely stayed ahead of Hamlin, crossing the checkered flag with a wobble for his 12th career Cup Series win. He led 105 laps.
“It worked out about as opposite as I could have drawn it up in my head,” Bell said. “But the races that are contested like that, looking back, are the ones that mean the most to you.”
Said Hamlin: “I kind of had position on the 20, but I knew he was going to ship it in there. We just kind of ran out of race track there.”
Katherine Legge, who became the first woman to race on the Cup Series since Danica Patrick at the Daytona 500 seven years ago, didn’t get off to a great start and finished 30th.
Fighting a tight car, Legge got loose coming out of Turn 2 and spun her No. 78 Chevrolet, forcing her to make a pit stop. She dropped to the back of the field and had a hard time making up ground before bumping another car and spinning again on Lap 215, taking out Daniel Suarez with her.
“We made some changes to the car overnight and they were awful,” Legge said. “I was just hanging on to it.”
Logano, who started on the front row in his first race at Phoenix Raceway since capturing his third Cup Series at the track last fall, fell to the back of the field after a mistake on an early restart.
Trying to get a jump on Byron, Logano barely dipped his No. 22 Ford below the yellow line at the start/finish. NASCAR officials reviewed the restart and forced the Team Penske driver to take a pass through on pit road as the entire field passed him on the track.
“No way,” Logano said on his radio. “That’s freakin’ ridiculous.”
Logano twice surged to the lead after switching to the red tires, but started falling back on the primary tires following a restart. He finished 13th.
Preece took an early gamble by going to the red option tires and it paid off with a run from 33rd to third. The RFK Racing driver dropped back as the tires wore off, but went red again following a caution with about 90 laps left and surged into the lead.
Preece went back to the primary tires with 42 laps to go and started dropping back, finishing 15th.
The series heads to Las Vegas Motor Speedway next weekend.
The days leading up to the 2025 NHL trade deadline were a furious final sprint as contenders looked to stock up for a postseason run while rebuilding clubs added prospects and draft capital.
After the overnight Brock Nelson blockbuster Thursday, Friday lived up to expectations, with Mikko Rantanen, Brad Marchand and other high-profile players finishing the day on different teams than they started with. All told, NHL teams made 24 trades on deadline day involving 47 players.
Which teams and players won the day? Who might not feel as well about the situation after trade season? Reporters Ryan S. Clark, Kristen Shilton and Greg Wyshynski identify the biggest winners and losers of the 2025 NHL trade deadline:
There are some who saw what the Carolina Hurricanes did at the trade deadline — or perhaps failed to do after they traded Mikko Rantanen — and believe they’re cooked when it comes to the Stanley Cup playoffs. However, based on the projections from Stathletes, the Canes remain the team with the highest chances of winning the Cup, at 16.7%.
Standing before them on Sunday are the Winnipeg Jets (5 p.m. ET, ESPN+). The Jets had a relatively quiet deadline, adding Luke Schenn and Brandon Tanev, though sometimes these additions are the types of small tweaks that can push a contender over the edge. As it stands, the Jets enter their showdown against the Canes with the sixth-highest Cup chances, at 8.7%.
Carolina has made two trips to the Cup Final: a loss to the Detroit Red Wings in 2002 and a win over the Edmonton Oilers in 2006. The Canes have reached the conference finals three times since (2009, 2019, 2023). Winnipeg has yet to make the Cup Final, and was defeated 4-1 in the 2018 Western Conference finals by the Vegas Golden Knights in the club’s lone trip to the penultimate stage.
Both clubs are due. Will this be their year?
There is a lot of runway left until the final day of the season on April 17, and we’ll help you keep track of it all here on the NHL playoff watch. As we traverse the final stretch, we’ll provide detail on all the playoff races — along with the teams jockeying for position in the 2025 NHL draft lottery.
Points: 43 Regulation wins: 12 Playoff position: N/A Games left: 17 Points pace: 54.3 Next game: vs. NSH (Tuesday) Playoff chances: ~0% Tragic number: 8
Race for the No. 1 pick
The NHL uses a draft lottery to determine the order of the first round, so the team that finishes in last place is not guaranteed the No. 1 selection. As of 2021, a team can move up a maximum of 10 spots if it wins the lottery, so only 11 teams are eligible for the draw for the No. 1 pick. Full details on the process can be found here. Sitting No. 1 on the draft board for this summer is Matthew Schaefer, a defenseman for the OHL’s Erie Otters.