What happens if Alabama makes the Bottom 10?
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Ryan McGee, ESPN Senior Writer
Inspirational thought of the week:
Do you know who I am?
Have you any idea who I am?
Do you know how I tried?
Have you any idea how I tried?
You will know who I am
When that time comes, you’ll know who I am
And you will know who I am
— “Do You Know Who I Am?” Elvis Presley
Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located backstage at the Chuckle Hut in Athens, Georgia, waiting for the premiere of Matt Stinchcomb’s one-man impersonation show “Steve Spurrier On Steve Spurrier,” we, like the Head Ball Coach, appreciate those who, like the Head Ball Coach, are very self aware. They know exactly who they are, and they want us to know that they know exactly who they are.
Here in the Bottom 10 Cinematic Universe, there is rarely much wanting for such cognizance. Our people know exactly who they are, and they become very angry when they believe that the rest of us are not fully on board with their overboard self-perception. As in throwing themselves overboard already, after only two full weeks of football games have been played.
In the B10CU, we call that #Bottom10Lobbying.
@ESPNMcGee If Nevada isn’t ranked #1 in the next version of the Bottom 10 then the rankings are illegitimate.
— Frank (@mugtang) September 10, 2023
Hey Ryan if you haven’t already done so, please give BC strong consideration for Bottom 10. Lost to G5 team Week 1 & barely survived vs 1AA former rival yesterday. Oh yeah & the G5 team that beat them Week 1 lost to 1AA team yesterday.
— BurkieInBoston (@BurkieInBoston) September 10, 2023
In giving our advice to those working so hard to convince us of their worthy unworthiness, we channel a young Obi-Wan Kenobi, speaking to his breathless padawan Anakin Skywalker outside of a Coruscant night club as they chase a bad guy. “Patience … think …” Your time will come if it hasn’t already. Trust us. Then, as you wait, we recall Obi-Wan’s next act. To get a drink.
With apologies to Ewan McGregor, Patrick King and Steve Harvey, here’s the Post-Week 2 Bottom 10.
1. Arkansaw State Fightin’ Butches (0-2)
The bad news? The Red Wolves lost 37-3 to Memphis. The good news? That’s literally not half as bad as Week 1, when they lost to Oklahoma 73-0. I’m no mathematician, but at this rate of reduction they are close to completely neutralizing and thus should spend Week 3 going into endless OTs with Stony Brook.
2. No-vada (0-2)
Well, @mugtang, the Wolf Pack didn’t land in the top bottom spot, but after falling to My Own Private Idaho 33-6, they did jump from the Waiting List into the next-to-the-top bottom spot. Now they host Kansas, which not so long would have been a slam-dunk Pillow Fight of the Week candidate, but then the Jayhawks decided to get all highfalutin and start winning football games.
3. Buffalo Bulls Not Bills (0-2)
An opening loss to Wisconsin on the road, that’s not bad. But a loss at home to FCS Fordham in which the Rams quarterback throws five touchdown passes, that’s very bad. Fordham had already lost this season to the Albany Great Danes, who lost to Marshall and Hawai’i and were picked 11th in the 15-team Colonial Athletic Association’s preseason poll. Heads up, Arkansas State, Stony Brook was picked 14th.
4. #Kentergy (0-2)
There are only 15 0-2 teams, and three reside within the rusty octagon that is #MACtion, including Buffalo and the State of Kent. In case you were wondering — and we were — the Golden Flashes and Bulls are slated for a Week 8 throwdown at Kent. And in case you were wondering — and we most definitely were — Kent faces that other 0-2 MAC team, Baller State, in its next-to-last game Nov. 18. But considering Ball State has concluded its SEC East Invitational (Kentucky and Georgia, combined score 89-17), it shouldn’t be 0-and-whatever for long.
5. Around the bowl and down the hole, Roll Tide Roll (1-1)
I’ve been writing these rankings for a decade now and during that time pretty much every single college football power broker has landed in the Coveted Fifth Spot. From Ohio State and Michigan to Georgia and USC. Heck, Clemson was here just last week! I have put everyone here except Alabama — until now. Honestly, I didn’t think the Tide’s loss to Texas was an indicator that Bama is bad as much as it was the Horns are pretty good. Also honestly, I just want to see what happens now that I’ve finally done this. Will the earth break from its axis? Will someone throw a bottle of white Alabama barbecue sauce at me the next time I’m in Birmingham-Shuttlesworth International Airport? Will Nick Saban have my SEC Network TV show canceled? Oh … wait. Is it too late for me to take this back? Is this how Paul Finebaum feels all the time?
6. No-Braska (0-2)
On one hand, the Huskers have suffered two losses. On the other hand, those losses were both on the road and one of those trips was to Colorado, which is led by the greatest coach in the history of college football. The problem is that after eight turnovers in two games, while switching the ball from that one metaphorical hand to the other, Nebraska totally fumbled it away.
7. UTEPid (1-2)
The Minors opened the season by rewarding Jacksonville State (which is not in the Jacksonville you’re thinking of, nor is it a state) with its first-ever FBS victory. Then they had to immaculately conceive two come-from-behind efforts to defeat Incarnate Word. Then they lost 38-7 to defending Bottom 10 champions North by Northworstern, which earned its first win on U.S. soil since October 2021 and on any soil since Aug. 27, 2022.
8. Whew Mexico State (1-2)
We have received much #Bottom10Lobbying from both sides of this weekend’s Rio Grande Rivalry/Battle of I-25 between Whew Mexico State and Just Whew Mexico. Both fan bases have made great fan cases. However, the reality is that the loser of Saturday’s 113th meeting between Lobo Louie and Pistol Pete will suffer the Pillow Fight of the Week consequences and wind somewhere near the top bottom of these rankings one week from now. They will also suffer more than most Pillow Fight of the Week losers because I’m pretty sure that in the Land of Enchantment, they fill their pillows with beehive cacti.
9. UMess (1-2)
In case you were wondering why Whew Mexico State earned the edge over Just Whew Mexico for now, it’s because the Other Aggies lost their edge on Week 0, when they fell to these guys. But the Minutemen have lost twice since that victory, falling to Bottom 10 Waiting Lister My Hammy of Ohio over the weekend. After another dose of #MACtion against the Eastern Michigan University Fightin’ Emus this weekend, UMess will host Whew Mexico AND Arkansaw State in back-to-back weekends. And yes, you can expect me to spend my weekly Monday visit with Rece Davis and Pete Thamel on the “College GameDay” podcast shamelessly lobbying them to do their little Saturday morning TV show in Amherst.
10. Sam Houston State, we have a problem (0-2)
The Bearkats krashed into the FBS football kommunity with konsistency on defense, keeping BYU and Air Force klamped down to only 27 points kombined. But the Bearkats kan’t kome up with a kounterattack, kultivating an inkonceivable 3 points skored.
Waiting List: The 12th Man, San No-sé State, Just Whew Mexico, North by Northworstern, EC-Yew, North Texas Lean Green, Bahstun Cawledge, U-Can’t, Baller State, the Colorado team that doesn’t have Deion as coach, Texas Wreck, overly dramatic post-NCAA ruling hyperbole.
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Max Olson
FRISCO, Texas — A dynamic new quarterback, a new offensive system and two projected first-round picks up front have Utah coach Kyle Whittingham feeling enthusiastic about the Utes’ chances of bouncing back from a disastrous debut season in the Big 12.
Utah was voted No. 1 in the Big 12 preseason poll last year after joining from the Pac-12, but a brutal run of injuries and inconsistency resulted in a seven-game conference losing streak and a 5-7 finish — the program’s first losing season since 2013.
After weeks of contemplation about his future and what was best for the program, Whittingham, the third-longest-tenured head coach in FBS, decided in December to return for his 21st season with the Utes.
“The bottom line and the final analysis was I couldn’t step away on that note,” Whittingham told ESPN at Big 12 media days Wednesday. “It was too frustrating, too disappointing. As much as college football has changed with all the other factors that might pull you away, that was the overriding reason: That’s not us, that’s not who we are. It just left a bad taste in my mouth. I did not want to miss the opportunity to try to get that taste out.”
“The bottom line and the final analysis was I couldn’t step away on that note. It was too frustrating, too disappointing. … That’s not us. That’s not who we are. It just left a bad taste in my mouth. I did not want to miss the opportunity to try to get that taste out.”
Utah coach Kyle Whittingham on going 5-7 in 2024
Whittingham and Utes defensive coordinator Morgan Scalley conducted a national search for a new offensive coordinator and quickly zeroed in on New Mexico‘s Jason Beck. Then they managed to land Devon Dampier, Beck’s first-team All-Mountain West quarterback, via the transfer portal.
After finishing 11th nationally in total offense with 3,934 yards and 31 total touchdowns and putting up the fourth-most rushing yards (1,166) among all FBS starters, Dampier followed his coach to Salt Lake City and immediately asserted himself as a difference-maker for a program that had to start four different QBs in 2024.
“He’s a terrific athlete,” Whittingham said. “He’s a guy that, if spring is any indication, he’s an exciting player, and we can’t wait to watch him this season. … He’s got that ‘it’ factor. He’s a leader. Needless to say, very excited to see what he does for us.”
They’ve surrounded Dampier with 21 more newcomers via the transfer portal and will protect him with two returning starters at tackle in Spencer Fano and Caleb Lomu, who are projected first-round NFL draft picks by ESPN’s Matt Miller.
“We feel they’re the best tandem in the country,” Whittingham said. “The offensive line in general, I feel, it’s the best since I’ve been there. And that’s quite a statement. We’ve had some really good offensive lines. We’ve got two first-rounders and three seniors inside that have played a lot of good football for us. That better be a strength of ours, and that’s what we’re counting on.”
Whittingham has previously said he did not want to coach past the age of 65. Now that he’s 65, he acknowledges that he might’ve arrived at a different decision about his future had the Utes ended up winning the Big 12 in 2024. He is reenergized about getting them back into contention, but he’s not ready to say whether this season might be his last.
“The best answer I can give you is, right now, I’m excited and passionate about going to work every single day,” Whittingham said. “As soon as that changes, I’ll know it’s time. I’m just counting on knowing when the time is right. I can’t tell you exactly what the circumstances will be other than losing the fire in the belly.”
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Jesse Rogers
The automated ball-strike system is coming to the All-Star Game next week in Atlanta.
MLB officials added the feature to the annual exhibition game knowing it could be a precursor to becoming a permanent part of the major leagues as soon as next year.
The same process used this past spring training will be used for the Midsummer Classic: Each team will be given two challenges with the ability to retain them if successful. Only a pitcher, catcher or hitter can ask for a challenge and it has to happen almost immediately after the pitch. The player will tap his hat or helmet indicating to the umpire he wants to challenge while any help from the dugout or other players on the field is not allowed.
MLB officials say 72% of fans who were polled during spring training said the impact of ABS on their experience at the game was a “positive” one. Sixty-nine percent said they’d like it part of the game moving forward. Just 10% expressed negativity toward it.
MLB’s competition committee will meet later this summer to determine if ABS will be instituted next season after the league tested the robotic system throughout the minor leagues and spring training in recent years. Like almost any rule change, there were mixed reviews from players about using ABS but nearly all parties agree on one point: They prefer a challenge system as opposed to the technology calling every pitch.
As was the case in spring training, once a review is initiated, an animated replay of the pitch will be shown on the scoreboard and the home plate umpire will either uphold the call or overturn it. ABS uses Hawk-Eye system technology which tracks the pitch trajectory and location in relation to the strike zone, providing an instant assessment which can be relayed to the home plate umpire.
The All-Star Game will be played at Truist Park in Atlanta on Tuesday.
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