Americans shacking up with exes during ongoing housing crisis

Published

2 months ago

February 26, 2024

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Americans are choosing to remain in a living situation with their exes amidst the ongoing housing crisis, a move that experts say may prove emotionally taxing despite the potential financial benefits.

“High housing costs are causing more couples to cohabitate despite the fact the romantic flames of their marriage have been extinguished,” real estate broker Chuck Vander Stelt told Fox News Digital.

“I have had conversations with several divorcing couples who have been weighing options and looking to time the market. In the meantime, they are continuing to live together.”

Stelt believes the trend of cohabitation after divorce or breakups is growing as he has experienced an influx of those in their 30s and 40s, often with children, weighing the options of selling versus cohabitating. In the past, Stelt said homeowners who separated were adamant that the property should be sold as soon as possible.

“Many homeowners are sitting on a mortgage with a rock bottom interest rate and a comfortable house payment. It’s hard to let that go and face the alternative of meaningfully higher housing costs,” he added.

The inclination to remain shacked up with former lovers has been reported in the media over the last several years, especially amid the fallout from the COVID-19 pandemic.

Relationship advice websites and message boards, such as Reddit, are filled with pagers where renters and homeowners have asked whether they should remain in their current living situation.

Americans have even documented their experiences living with exes on TikTok, offering advice to those facing a similar conundrum.

TikToker @-diaryofamomma posted a variety of videos in late 2023 where she showed what life is like when you live with an ex and you share two children. The son and daughter typically stay with the mother in one room while the dad sleeps on the couch.

The mom, “Cassie,” said they still live together because the landlord would not allow them to break the lease without paying for the rest of the term in full. They both share responsibility for the kids and clean the house.

“Honestly, me and their dad like think of a bad roommate. Somebody you don’t like but you have to live with because you have a lease together. Like, that’s what we are,” Cassie said. “I try not to bother him. He doesn’t bother me.”

Dating coach Deon Black said the reasons people choose to live with their exes often boil down to the three F’s: finances, familiarity, and fear.

“The cost of moving out can be prohibitive, especially considering current real estate prices. And let’s not forget the contractual obligations that sometimes bind people together like super glue rental contracts signed in happier times that now seem as unbreakable as a bad habit,” he said.

Black said while not an earth-shattering trend, exes living together is indeed a growing phenomenon created out of necessity, more so than choice.

“Millennials are leading this charge, followed closely by Gen Z. Younger generations are most affected by this trend due to economic pressures,” he said.

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Amid rising interest rates and housing shortages, Black said Americans are trying to save money and maintain stability, especially if kids are involved. But the possible downside is substantial, with the dating coach citing the potential for emotional stress, conflict and the difficulty of moving on.

After living with her ex, TikToker Alana Hogan offered tips to those embroiled in the same living situation.

“Everyone is going to heal in different ways and everyone has different coping strategies. Your way is going to be entirely different to his or her way,” she said.

She urged her followers not to view their former partner’s actions as a reflection of themselves and to set healthy boundaries of where each person will be in the apartment or house.

“Be really clear and open with your communication. Let them know what you feel comfortable with, what you don’t feel comfortable with. What you feel open about talking about and what you don’t,” she added.

Viral relationship coach Jake Maddock previously addressed the idea of living with an ex, stressing that deciding to stay under the same roof means you are still technically in a relationship.

“You can’t emotionally separate and not physically separate. You have to separate physically as well,” he said.

Sexologist Suzannah Weiss concurred with the idea that it is usually easier for people to have a “clean break” and keep exes out of their lives following a breakup.

Weiss noted that some people might agree to live with their exes temporarily because they are busy with work, allowing this period to drag on without a determined expiration date. Others live in rent-controlled apartments and cannot find something affordable when they cut things off, leading to decisions “born out of convenience.”

“However, sometimes, people keep living with their exes because they are afraid to fully let go. They may tell themselves it’s for convenience or for financial reasons, but the truth is that they are terrified to be completely without this person,” she told Fox News Digital.

Politics

Natalie Elphicke defection ‘like being punched in the gut’, says Jess Philips

Published

1 hour ago

May 10, 2024

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Natalie Elphicke defection 'like being punched in the gut', says Jess Philips

Jess Phillips has revealed that seeing Natalie Elphicke cross the floor to join the Labour Party felt “a bit like being punched in the gut” given the former Conservative MP’s “victim blaming” after her ex-husband and former MP Charlie Elphike was convicted of sexual assault.

The former shadow minister for domestic violence told our Electoral Dysfunction podcast that the leadership should have handled the defection of Ms Elphickle “in a way that was slightly more sensitive to those of us who speak up on these particular issues”, as the MP for Birmingham Yardley hinted at the private anger and upset among Labour MPs over the shock arrival of Ms Elphicke, a Tory rightwinger who was a member of the Brexiteer ERG group and New Conservatives caucuses.

“I expressed my view quite clearly,” says Jess, as the backlash built last night, culminating in Ms Elphicke putting out a statement on Thursday, which I understand was driven by Sir Keir Starmer’s office, apologising to the victims of her ex-husband.

Ms Elphicke, who took the Dover & Deal seat uncontested after her now ex-husband Charlie Elphicke, was convicted of sexual assault, had defended him and said his conviction had been a “terrible miscarriage of justice” as she described Mr Elphicke as an “easy target”.

On Thursday, she released a statement apologising about the comments she had made about victims.

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She said: “The period of 2017 – 2020 was an incredibly stressful and difficult one for me as I learned more about the person I thought I knew. I know it was far harder for the women who had to relive their experiences and give evidence against him.

“I have previously, and do, condemn his behaviour towards other women and towards me. It was right that he was prosecuted and I’m sorry for the comments that I made about his victims.

“It is vital that women can have confidence in the criminal justice system and our rates of prosecution and conviction are far too low as a country.

“Keir Starmer’s mission to halve male violence against women and girls is critical and I wanted to take the opportunity to express my explicit support for Labour colleagues working to realise it.”

I understand that she had privately expressed these views to Sir Keir Starmer when discussing joining Labour, and that the party had made these public amid the backlash the Labour leader was facing in light of her defection.

The Labour leader has made tackling violence against women and girls a key election pledge.

Jess says the apology was “an absolute start, but is also a bare minimum”.

“I’m going to give her a chance to talk to me personally. There is a part of that statement about abuse and harm that he caused to her as well.

“I’m not saying that to excuse her. I am saying that because I think that she provides us with a lesson of how we could actually prevent this going forward and have some sort of cultural shift. So I don’t excuse her and I will give her, like I would with any woman, I will give her a fair chance.”

Ruth Davidson, meanwhile, says the defection, coupled with those terrible local elections, means the PM is “tripping into beleaguered territory”.

“By the time this election comes in November or whenever it is. I mean, we could be beleaguered, we could be in the rear-view mirror by then. I mean, it could be falling apart by that point… I mean apocalyptic.”

A dysfunctional week all around, one way or another.

Politics

Sir Keir Starmer to pledge ‘elite’ Border Unit with anti-terror powers to stop small boats

Published

1 hour ago

May 10, 2024

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Sir Keir Starmer to pledge 'elite' Border Unit with anti-terror powers to stop small boats

Labour will create a new Border Security Command to tackle people-smuggling gangs bringing migrants across the Channel, Sir Keir Starmer is set to announce.

The “elite” unit, to be part-funded by scrapping the Tories’ Rwanda deportation scheme, will be led by a former police, military or intelligence chief and be granted new powers under the Counter Terrorism Act.

Politics Live: New Labour MP’s apology ‘unlikely to change minds’

These powers will allow officers to conduct stop and searches at the border, carry out financial investigations and issue search and seizure warrants targeting organised immigration crime.

Sir Keir will outline the measures in a speech on the Kent coast on Friday, when he will vow to “replace gimmicks with graft” and draw on his experience as the former head of the Crown Prosecution Service.

The Labour leader will say: “Let’s be clear at the start, these are criminal enterprises we are dealing with.

“A business that pits nation against nation, thrives in the grey areas of our rules, the cracks between our institutions, where, they believe, they can exploit some of the most vulnerable people in the world with impunity.

“It’s a vile trade that preys on the desperation and hope it finds in its victims.”

The speech comes after the defection of Dover MP Natalie Elphicke, who joined Labour from the Conservatives on Wednesday, accusing the prime minister of failing to deliver on his promise to “stop the boats”.

The move was met with shock and bafflement on the Conservative benches, given Ms Elphicke has previously attacked Sir Keir on immigration and seen as being on the right of her party.

It left some Labour MPs less than impressed too, with the Brexiteer apologising on Thursday over past comments supporting her sex offender ex-husband.

Ms Elphicke said the “key deciding factors” in her defection were housing issues and “the safety and security of our borders”.

Speaking from the constituency of his newest MP, Sir Keir will accuse the government of “rank incompetence” on immigration, dismissing the Rwanda scheme as being unable to provide an effective deterrent and accusing the Conservatives of operating a “Travelodge amnesty” by housing migrants in hotels rather than processing their claims.

Over 52,000 people are stuck in the asylum backlog while some 8,826 migrants have arrived in the UK after crossing the Channel so far this year, provisional Home Office figures show.

This is up 32% on this time last year, when 6,691 migrants were recorded, and a 14% rise compared with the same period in 2022 (7,750), according to PA news agency analysis of the data.

Labour has previously vowed to scrap the Rwanda scheme and focus its efforts on targeting people-smuggling gangs and clearing the asylum backlog.

The new command will be funded by diverting £75m of the money allocated for the first year of the scheme, which is yet to be up and running.

The policy has been mired in setbacks since it was announced two years ago, with the first flights expected to take off in the summer, Downing Street has said.

US

Two skiers killed in avalanche in Utah mountains

Published

1 hour ago

May 10, 2024

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Two skiers killed in avalanche in Utah mountains

Two skiers have been killed during an avalanche in mountains near Salt Lake City.

The men, aged 23 and 32, were swept up in the avalanche in Utah’s Wasatch Range on Thursday morning.

A third skier was rescued and taken to hospital after digging himself out from the snow, according to Salt Lake County Sheriff Rosie Rivera.

The avalanche followed several days of spring snowstorms in the area.

Craig Gordon, from the Utah Avalanche Center, said around 2.5ft (76cm) of heavy, wet snow had fallen in the area in the past three days during the snow storms, which he said had also brought very strong winds.

“With spring, avalanche conditions can change in an instant,” Mr Gordon said.

He also described the sight of the avalanche, near Lone Peak, as “very serious” and “steep” terrain.

Lone Peak, is one of the highest peaks in the Wasatch Range, towering over Utah’s capital city.

Its steep, rugged terrain makes it a popular destination for advanced back country skiers and experienced climbers.

The sheriff’s office said the families of the two skiers had been notified of their deaths.

The deaths bring this winter’s tally of avalanche deaths in the US to at least 15 – which is less than the average of about 30 people who are killed by avalanches each year.

In January, one person was killed and another person was injured during an avalanche in Lake Tahoe.