Connect with us

Published

on

Inspirational thought of the week:

So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you, saying, “I’m sorry for that night”
And I go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain’t nothing but missing you
Wishing I’d realized what I had when you were mine
I’d go back to December, turn around and make it alright
I go back to December all the time
— Taylor Swift, “Back to December”

Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located behind the giant industrial fans used to cool the massive warehouse of computer servers that store Pete Thamel’s contact list, we come once again to Championship Weekend, which means it’s time for us at the Bottom 10 to make like the head coach of a college football team named the Owls and get the hell out of town.

But before we commenced with our annual Scotch-Irish exit out the side door that sets off the fire alarm, we assembled our Bottom 10 Selection Committee to help sort out the final rankings. When we shouted into the air “Bottom 10, assemble!” we were immediately joined by our usual list of longtime esteemed colleagues that includes me, my dad, Captain Morgan (aka my stepdad), former LSU coach Ed Orgeron, current Northwest Oklahoma defensive coordinator Jerry Glanville and Ed “Straight Arrow” Gennero, the man who joined forces with Sinbad and Supervisory Special Agent Dwayne Cassius Pride to save the Texas State Armadillos from the death penalty.

Bo Pelini served on the committee one year ago but never showed up this time around, so we replaced him with Mack Brown, who immediately tried to cast five votes for North Carolina. For the second consecutive season, we also invited Jimbo Fisher but were told that he was too busy racing Rich Rod and Anthony Becht in kayaks up the Monongahela River toward Morgantown.

As per usual, we were told by the posh Gaylord Texan, where the hoity-toity College Football Playoff people hang out, that there was no room at the inn. So we hotwired an RV from a nearby Buc-ee’s and parked it behind an abandoned Dickey’s BBQ adjacent to the Gaylord, so close that it allowed Coach O to irritate Mike Riley and Gary Pinkel by aiming a laser pointer at them through the conference room blinds.

And once again we leaned on our Bottom 10 FPI formula. No, not the ESPN Football Power Index, but rather the Faux Pas Index.

Because everyone loves math, here’s how it works. Teams receive one point for each win, minus one point for each loss, minus one point for each loss of their longest losing streak of the year, plus a minus-10 bonus if that longest losing streak is currently active. We also subtract the number of points they have surrendered on the season from the number of points they scored, subtract or add points based on their season turnover margin and subtract their weakness of schedule (WoS) ranking. If a team fired its head coach, that earned a 50-point subtraction, aka the Randy Edsall Fired Coach Bonus.

Divide all of that by the number of games played, and there’s your Bottom 10 FPI score. See? Simple as pie. A Shaker lemon cherry rhubarb strawberry walnut pecan quiche with lattice crust and cranberry-pear cookie crumble topping.

So, with apologies to Tulsa lineman Ender Aguilar, former Toledo Rocket Alex Enders, former Wisconsin kicker Andrew Endicott and Steve Harvey, here are the season-ending Bottom 10 rankings for 2024.


Wins: +0
Losses: -12
Longest losing streak: -12 (current -10)
Point differential: -362 (167 for, 529 against)
Turnover margin: -9
WoS: -46
Randy Edsall Fired Coach Bonus: N/A
Total: -451
Games played: 12
Final Bottom 10 Faux Pas Index: -37.58

Nick Saban’s alma mater successfully defended its 2023 Bottom 10 title by finishing the season as the nation’s only 12-loss team. Saban also lost 12 games … over his last nine years at Alabama.


Wins: +1
Losses: -11
Longest losing streak: -19 (current -10)
Point differential: -202 (117 for, 319 against)
Turnover margin: -19
WoS: -110
Randy Edsall Fired Coach Bonus: -50
Total: -420
Games played: 12
Final Bottom 10 Faux Pas Index: -35

The Molden Eagles nearly swooped in for the Bottom 10 upset as Kent’s season finished early with some midweek #MACtion and Southern Miss played one more game, a 10th straight loss, the nation’s third-longest active losing streak. They did so by surrendering 21 points in less than two minutes to season-long Bottom 10 Wait Lister Troy Bolton State. The bad news is all of the above. The good news is that Brett Favre has already filed the paperwork to see if the season qualifies for disaster relief so he can use the funds to buy the team the gold-plated private plane used in the movie “Richie Rich.”


Wins: +3
Losses: -9
Longest losing streak: -4 (current -10)
Point differential: -210 (300 for, 510 against)
Turnover margin: -7
WoS: -133
Randy Edsall Fired Coach Bonus: -50
Total: -420
Games played: 12
Final Bottom 10 Faux Pas Index: -35

In other gold-covered natural disaster news, the Golden Hurricane didn’t just lose their last four games, they lost them by surrendering 59, 38, 63 and 63 points, including three games against EC-Yew, You A Bee? and FA(not I)U, all of whom spent large chunks of time in the Bottom 10 this season.


Wins: +1
Losses: -11
Longest losing streak: -11 (current -10)
Point differential: -290 (189 for, 479 against)
Turnover margin: -14
WoS: -6
Randy Edsall Fired Coach Bonus: -50
Total: -391
Games played: 12
Final Bottom 10 Faux Pas Index: -32.58

The Buttermakers churn into winter riding the nation’s second-longest losing streak, their only 2024 win coming in Week 1 against the Indiana State Sycamores. In their defense, they did play the nation’s sixth-toughest schedule, according to our ESPN Analytics Ouija board of truth. Also in their defense, Sycamores are tough to chop down, so they were pretty tired.


Ryan Day is 66-10 at Ohio State, but 1-4 against Michigan. On the flip side, Jim Harbaugh at Michigan was 0-5 against Ohio State before winning his last three. On the flip side of that, Harbaugh also had that guy named after a bunch of horses stealing signs for him. On the flip side of that, I’ve tried to watch that Netflix documentary about that guy like five times but keep turning it off because I can’t see that sign-stealing guy as the sort of sympathetic genius that he wants me to. On the flip side of that, Ohio State fans are having a hard time seeing Day as a sympathetic genius, either.


Wins: +2
Losses: -10
Longest losing streak: -6
Point differential: -176 (198 for, 374 against)
Turnover margin: -6
WoS: -132
Randy Edsall Fired Coach Bonus: -50
Total: -378
Games played: 12
Final Bottom 10 Faux Pas Index: -31.5

Who outlasted all Owl-based FBS programs this season? Kennesaw, that’s who. That’s who also beat out the Rice Owls, FA(not)U Owls and Temple of Doom Owls, all of who-m fired their head owls this season. But who fired their coach, who then showed up to hoot it with his former pigskin parliament the next weekend anyway? These Owls, that’s who.


Wins: +3
Losses: -9
Longest losing streak: -5
Point differential: -176 (259 for, 435 against)
Turnover margin: -13
WoS: -108
Randy Edsall Fired Coach Bonus: N/A
Total: -308
Games played: 12
Final Bottom 10 Faux Pas Index: -25.67

The Other Aggies had climbed out of the Bottom 10 like Bruce Wayne from that deep-hole prison in that movie where no one could understand what the bad guy was saying and appeared to be in the clear after outdueling fellow CUSA scrambler Muddled Tennessee State two weekends ago. But then they dropped the season’s final Pillow Fight of the Week, literally, with two fumbles that were returned for two UTEPid touchdowns. It was a finale fight almost as badly choreographed as that same movie’s finale fight between Batman and Bane.


Wins: +2
Losses: -10
Longest losing streak: -4 (current -10)
Point differential: -156 (270 for, 426 against)
Turnover margin: -1
WoS: -74
Randy Edsall Fired Coach Bonus: -50
Total: -303
Games played: 12
Final Bottom 10 Faux Pas Index: -25.25

The Minuet-men employed the same battle tactics they employed at Bunker Hill, waiting until they saw the whites of their enemies’ eyes. Unfortunately, in football that means you’ve already been run over.


Wins: +2
Losses: -10
Longest losing streak: -6
Point differential: -151 (185 for, 336 against)
Turnover margin: -16
WoS: -11
Randy Edsall Fired Coach Bonus: N/A
Total: -192
Games played: 12
Final Bottom 10 Faux Pas Index: -16

The Semi-No’s spent their entire offseason in court desperately trying to prove they had no business playing football in the ACC. Then they spent the entire season proving beyond a shadow of doubt that, no, they certainly didn’t.


Wins: +3
Losses: -9
Longest losing streak: -9 (current -10)
Point differential: -101 (326 for, 427 against)
Turnover margin: -8
WoS: -35
Randy Edsall Fired Coach Bonus: N/A
Total: -169
Games played: 12
Final Bottom 10 Faux Pas Index: -14.08

Back in July, the Fightin’ Gundys were picked by many to be spending this weekend playing in the Big 12 championship game. Instead, they went 0-9 in the conference and ended the season with the nation’s fourth-longest losing streak. It’s enough to make someone declare that they are a man and they are 40, even after a season like this one, when they looked 90.

Waiting list: Miss Sus Hippie State, FI(not A)U, FA(not I)U, Temple of Doom, Baller State, Georgia State Not Southern, Why OMG?, UTEPid, Muddled Tennessee State, treating flag planting like a TikTok trend.

Continue Reading

Sports

How Friday’s college football results affect the playoff: Texas A&M may no longer get a bye

Published

on

By

How Friday's college football results affect the playoff: Texas A&M may no longer get a bye

For teams that aren’t playing in their conference championship games, this is it — the final chance to make a lasting impression on the College Football Playoff selection committee.

For some contenders, like Ole Miss, their regular-season résumé is now complete, and what happens in the fifth ranking on Tuesday night should be a strong indicator of their final placement on Selection Day. Others, like Miami, are banking on hope and help — and most importantly, one more win. It all began with the Egg Bowl on Friday — a game that not only kept Ole Miss in the playoff, but also technically in the SEC race.

That’s right — this thing is far from over, so check back after each game to see how the results will impact the playoff as the day unfolds.

Texas 27, Texas A&M 17

Rivalry Week presented its first shakeup of the top four when No. 16 Texas beat No. 3 Texas A&M — but it might not be all that jarring in the fifth ranking. The Aggies will likely drop to the 4-6 range behind Georgia. The Bulldogs have better wins including a 35-10 drubbing of … Texas. Georgia also has a better loss (to No. 10 Alabama), and has now clinched a spot in the SEC title game. The question is just how far Texas A&M will fall now that it has joined No. 5 Texas Tech, No. 6 Oregon and No. 7 Ole Miss in the one-loss club. The Aggies entered the weekend with a noticeable edge over Texas Tech in both strength of record (23 to 56) and strength of schedule (1 to 10). It’s possible the committee only drops the Aggies one spot, flipping them with Georgia, which means they’d still be in position to earn a first-round bye as the No. 4 seed. There would be a strong debate, though, about whether the Aggies, Texas Tech or Oregon, the latter which has impressed the committee lately by ranking in the top five in both offensive and defensive efficiency, deserves the highest seeding. The Aggies’ problem now is that they’d have to finish in the top four as an at-large team because they just got knocked out of the SEC title game.

While Texas now has arguably the best win in the country, it probably won’t be enough to catapult it into the top-10 as a three-loss team. Even with some upsets above them, it’s unlikely Texas would get higher than No. 12.


Indiana 56, Purdue 3

Indiana clinched a spot in the Big Ten championship game with its win against rival Purdue, locking in a CFP bid and beefing up its chances at keeping a first-round bye on Selection Day. The Hoosiers, who have been the committee’s No. 2 team in each of the first four rankings, still have a chance of grabbing the No. 1 spot in Tuesday’s ranking if Ohio State loses to Michigan. If the Buckeyes lose and Oregon wins Indiana will face Oregon in the Big Ten title game. If Michigan wins and Oregon loses the Hoosiers will face Michigan for the conference title.

The question is whether IU can maintain a top-four seed and a first-round bye as the Big Ten runner-up. If Indiana lost the title game, the committee would consider where their opponent was ranked and how close the game was. The Hoosiers would also be compared with other top one-loss teams, but playing a ranked opponent in the conference championship game — win or lose — would boost IU’s record strength by the committee’s metric.


Georgia 16, Georgia Tech 9

Georgia should keep its place as the committee’s top one-loss team following its win against rival Georgia Tech. Georgia’s Oct. 18 win against Ole Miss, along with their win at Tennessee and drubbing of Texas, impressed the committee. The Bulldogs’ consistency on offense and defense has also played well with the committee. Georgia’s first-round bye would only be in question at this point if it finishes as a two-loss SEC runner-up.

Barring an unusual combination of ACC results, No. 23 Georgia Tech will be out of the playoff at 9-3. The only way the Yellow Jackets can extend their playoff hope is through the ACC championship game. They entered the weekend with a 1.5% chance of making the game, according to ESPN Analytics.


Ole Miss 38, Mississippi State 19

With its win against rival Mississippi State on Friday, Ole Miss likely locked up a playoff spot and remains in a strong position to host a first-round home game. If Alabama loses to Auburn on Saturday, Ole Miss will clinch a spot in the SEC championship game. Even if it doesn’t, though, the one-loss Rebels should still be a CFP lock.

As for the uncertainty still looming around coach Lane Kiffin, if Ole Miss turns to an interim head coach for the playoff, the selection committee could consider that. CFP protocol states the group will consider “other relevant factors such as unavailability of key players and coaches that may have affected a team’s performance during the season or likely will affect its postseason performance.” Ole Miss won’t miss the playoff because Kiffin left for another job, but it could get dinged a spot or two if the committee thinks the team won’t be the same without him.


Utah 31, Kansas 21

No. 13 Utah punctuated its résumé with a win against 5-7 Kansas, but it’s still unlikely to reach the playoff without multiple upsets of teams above it — especially after just being leapfrogged by No. 12 Miami in the latest CFP ranking. Even with a win, to reach the Big 12 championship game, Utah still needs Texas Tech to lose and for both BYU and Arizona State to win. The Utes’ best hope to reach the CFP is still as an at-large team.

Getting that bid isn’t inconceivable if a combination of two-loss teams above them lose. If Oklahoma, Alabama and Miami lose, it would be difficult for any of them to stay in the top 12 as three-loss teams. Utah would need at least two of them to lose to move into the top 10, which is where it would need to be to actually be seeded in the field. The No. 11 and No. 12 teams this year will be excluded during the seeding process to make room for the fourth- and fifth-highest ranked conference champions.

Continue Reading

Sports

Arch rallies Longhorns, hands Aggies first loss

Published

on

By

Arch rallies Longhorns, hands Aggies first loss

AUSTIN, Texas — Arch Manning threw a touchdown pass and ran for the clinching score late in the fourth quarter, and No. 16 Texas rallied to upend No. 3 Texas A&M 27-17 on Friday night, spoiling the Aggies’ undefeated season and knocking them out of the Southeastern Conference championship game.

Manning’s 29-yard touchdown pass to Ryan Wingo in the third quarter gave Texas (9-3, 6-2 SEC) a 13-10 lead in what had been a tight, defensive game. His 35-yard run up the middle on third down with 7:04 left to play put the Longhorns up 27-17.

Texas, which started the season No. 1 and, at one point, was unranked, defeated a top-10 opponent for the third time this season to keep alive any faint hopes of making the College Football Playoff for the third consecutive time.

“In the locker room, you could see it, that we had 30 minutes together to see if we can keep playing this season,” Texas coach Steve Sarkisian told ESPN’s Molly McGrath in his postgame, on-field interview, referring to his halftime speech. “And they sure played like it in the second half.”

The Aggies (11-1, 7-1) are all but assured their first playoff berth, but the loss to their biggest rival will sting the program for a long time. Texas A&M has never played for an SEC title since joining the league in the 2012 season.

Meanwhile, despite three losses, the Longhorns feel they’ve made their case for a playoff berth, as well. Texas lost to Ohio State, Georgia and Florida.

“You tell me. That team is undefeated. No. 3 in the country, and a lot of the pundits out there think they are the No. 1 team in the country,” Sarkisian said when asked if his team’s win over the Aggies should push Texas into the CFP. “We just beat them by 10.”

The Aggies led 10-3 at the half.

“These guys fought. We were physical, we were tough,” Sarkisian said. “We created turnovers, we ran the ball, and we made the plays in the passing game when we had to. It was awesome.”

The Associated Press contributed to this report.

Continue Reading

Sports

Kiffin to make ‘hard decision’ on future Saturday

Published

on

By

Kiffin to make 'hard decision' on future Saturday

STARKVILLE, Miss. — Lane Kiffin said he’ll decide Saturday whether he will return as Ole Miss‘ coach in 2026 or take another job, presumably at LSU, which is trying to poach him from its SEC rival with a lucrative contract offer that will make him one of the highest-paid coaches in college football.

Kiffin, while speaking to reporters after the No. 7 Rebels’ 38-19 victory at Mississippi State in Friday’s Egg Bowl at Davis Wade Stadium, would only say that he’ll have to make a decision one way or the other, after Ole Miss athletics director Keith Carter and chancellor Glenn Boyce said they needed an answer by Saturday.

“I feel like I’ve got to,” Kiffin said.

When Kiffin was asked if he had made up his mind about where he’ll be coaching next season, he said, “Yeah, I haven’t. Maybe that surprises you. But, you know, I’ve got to do some praying and figure this thing out.”

Kiffin said he planned to attend his son’s high school playoff game in Tupelo, Mississippi, on Friday night. Knox Kiffin is Oxford High’s starting quarterback.

“Tonight, I’m going to go be a dad and watch a more important game to me,” Kiffin said.

Kiffin wasn’t sure what time he would make a decision Saturday.

“There’s a lot [that goes] into it,” Kiffin said. “It’s a hard decision. You guys have them all the time. You’ve got to make decisions about jobs you take and where you move, and we get paid a lot so I understand we’re under a lot of spotlight and scrutiny.”

Kiffin said he regretted not being able to speak to his father, Monte Kiffin, while trying to make one of the most important decisions of his career. The longtime NFL defensive coordinator died in July 2024. He was 84.

Kiffin, 50, has sought the advice of former Alabama coach Nick Saban and Las Vegas Raiders coach Pete Carroll, his former boss at USC, the past few weeks.

ESPN reported earlier Friday that Florida, which was also courting Kiffin, is now focused on other candidates in its search because the Gators believe he’s more interested in other opportunities.

Carter and Boyce met with Kiffin a week ago in Oxford, Mississippi, and the sides came to an understanding that Kiffin would make up his mind the day after the Egg Bowl.

If the Egg Bowl was Kiffin’s last game as Ole Miss’ coach, it was a fitting end to one of the most successful tenures in school history.

As speculation about Kiffin’s future continued to swirl over the past two weeks, the Rebels rolled past their rivals for their fifth win in the past six meetings in the heated series. The Rebels had 545 yards of offense, as quarterback Trinidad Chambliss passed for 359 yards with four touchdowns.

The Rebels (11-1, 7-1 SEC) all but secured a spot in the 12-team College Football Playoff. They’ll have to wait another day to find out whether they’ll play in next week’s SEC championship game in Atlanta.

No. 3 Texas A&M would have to fall at No. 16 Texas on Friday night (7:30 p.m. ET, ABC) and No. 10 Alabama would have to lose at Auburn in Saturday’s Iron Bowl (7:30 p.m. ET/ABC) for the Rebels to clinch a spot in the SEC championship game.

And, of course, Ole Miss fans will be waiting Saturday to find out which coaches will be on the sideline for the CFP, which might begin with a first-round game at home on Dec. 19 or 20.

If Kiffin decides to leave for LSU, former New York Giants coach Joe Judge would likely serve as the Rebels’ interim coach in the CFP, sources told ESPN.

Continue Reading

Trending