Connect with us

Published

on

Inspirational thought of the week:

Now you start with the number eight and as you go along
Jump eight numbers and practice this song
Counting by eights (bee-doop, b-b-b-bee-doop)
Counting by eights
Whoa that is high, this sure is fun
Counting by eights

— “Counting by Eights,” Scratch Garden

Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located somewhere in the Seattle crowd still echoing Desmond Howard’s “Big Penix energy!” chants, we would like to be the first to officially welcome you to Week 8. The octagon, the octennial, octad, octet, octopus’s garden of the 2023 college football season. That magical time of year when a slew of teams will achieve bowl eligibility every weekend and, more importantly in our world, bowl ineligibility.

What we’re saying is that Week 8 is like the trees that surround us all this time of year. Some with leaves that are still green, while others have begun their transition into varying shades of autumnal hues, not unlike the uniform colors of your favorite college football teams.

But those trees … yeah, that ain’t our arbor. No, our timbers are the ones that can only be found either hidden in the back of the nursery or barely hanging on alongside some dicey exit off the New Jersey Turnpike. The tepid timbers that spurt out one leaf each spring that immediately turns black from carbon monoxide poisoning. With one shaky, featherless Cardinal, stuck up there on a twiggy limb with no way to get down, screaming, “It’s Week 8?! Really? Has Ball State won a second game yet?!”

With apologies to Steve Young, Troy Aikman, Davey O’Brien, David Carr and Steve Harvey, here’s the pre-Week 8 Bottom 10.


1. No-vada (0-6)

There are years when we enter Week 8 with significant debate about which teams should be atop the bottom of these standings. Like that time we had a Bottom 10 selection committee meeting and Charlie Weis got so angry during a discussion that he hurled a bag of garbage at Jerry Glanville and then realized it was actually a bag of cash he’d just received from Notre Dame and Kansas. But this year, it’s a two-horse race seeing as how there are only two winless teams remaining among the ranks of FBS football. The Woof Pack just lost to former Bottom 10 stalwart-turned-Mountain West contender UNLV. And who are the other oh-fers?

2. Sam Houston We Have A Problem (0-6)

The Bearkats, who kouldn’t kome out on top in a kontest with kohort Konference-USA newkomer kolleague New Mexiko State.

3. State of Kent (1-6)

Likewise, there has been much deliberation, disputation, argumentation and all sorts of other ‘ations about which member of the MAC Nation should be in this ranking location. Then the State of Kent made a state-ment on the very first play of its game with the EMU Emus.

4. Akronmonious (1-6)

In case you were wondering, and we most definitely were, Akron hosts Kent on Nov. 1, the night after Halloween. It’s the college football equivalent of having to settle for all the penny candy wrapped in wax paper and boxes of raisins left in the bottom of your trick-or-treat bag after you’ve eaten all the good stuff.

5. Trojan Man! (6-1)

After its spokesperson lost 48-20 at Notre Dame while throwing three interceptions, that national hamburger chain with all the commercials featuring USC‘s quarterback has a new special for this week only (they hope). After you order your food, they throw it at you from the drive-in window but miss your car by six feet and it gets run over by a passing truck.

6. UMess (1-7)

The good news? The Minuetmen received $1.6 million to travel to Unhappy Valley and act as Penn State’s warmup act before the Nittany Lions face Ohio State. The bad news? After losing 63-0, UMass will spend most of that money on Band-Aids and ibuprofen.

7. Charlotte 1-and-5’ers (1-5)

The Niners lost 14-0 to Navy, both touchdowns coming on plays of 60-plus yards in the second half. Now they take on another seafaring American Athletic Conference of American Athletics opponent in …

8. EC-Yew (1-5)

the Pirates, who seemingly haven’t had a scoring play of 60-plus yards since back in the days when Charlotte head coach Biff Poggi still wore clothing with sleeves.

9. Baller State (1-6)

This spot came down to either the Cardinals and Southern Missed. But the Golden Eagles had a game scheduled for Tuesday night against the South Alabama Redundancies, just as we were voting on this week’s standings and honestly, we were too lazy to wait for the result. Also, Brett Favre’s lawyers said if we put USM in here for another week, they would sue us and use any winnings on volleyball gear.

10. Rod Tidwell’s Alma Mater (1-6)

With all these Pac-12 teams winning big games and producing Heisman candidates and posting gigantic television ratings, it’s good to see Arizona State producing a weekly slate of unexpected and disappointingly close losses. Hey, someone had to uphold Pac-12 traditions, right?

Waiting List: U-Can’t, Yew-VA, You A Bee?, all Big Ten schools in Indiana, Michigan State Little Brothers, Whew Mexico, blowing a Prime 29-0 lead.

Continue Reading

Sports

Auburn giving QB Knight first start vs. Mercer

Published

on

By

Auburn giving QB Knight first start vs. Mercer

AUBURN, Ala. — Auburn freshman quarterback Deuce Knight will make his first career start against Mercer on Saturday.

Interim coach DJ Durkin made the announcement Thursday, three days after saying Ashton Daniels would skip the game to preserve a year of eligibility. Daniels is expected to return to the starting lineup next week against No. 10 Alabama in the rivalry known as the Iron Bowl.

“He’s earned it,” Durkin said of Knight. “He’s done a great job, and we’re excited to see him go play.”

Knight hasn’t seen much action this season but did take a handful of snaps against Ball State. He completed 2 of 5 passes for 20 yards and added 16 yards rushing.

Knight got the nod over Jackson Arnold, who has played in nine games this season, throwing for 1,278 yards, with six touchdowns and two interceptions. However, both are expected to play.

“They’re both going to play in the game, and they’re both going to play well,” Durkin said. “They’re both prepared, and we have a good plan for both of them.”

Continue Reading

Sports

Mizzou’s Pribula upgraded to questionable vs. OU

Published

on

By

Mizzou's Pribula upgraded to questionable vs. OU

The possibility of Missouri quarterback Beau Pribula returning on Saturday at No. 8 Oklahoma is increasing.

Pribula was upgraded from doubtful to questionable on the SEC availability report on Thursday night, a key step in his potential return for No. 22 Missouri. He dislocated his left ankle against Vanderbilt on Oct. 25, a gruesome injury that somehow did not result in a fracture.

Pribula is medically cleared to play Saturday, sources told ESPN. The decision on his return will be made by the Missouri coaching staff, with input from Pribula on how the ankle is feeling.

A final decision on Pribula’s status isn’t expected to be made until after Missouri practices on Friday, sources said. Missouri has a walk-through on Thursday and runs a so-called “Fast Friday” practice, which will be the final data point on whether Pribula returns.

In Pribula’s absence, Missouri has started true freshman Matt Zollers, who began the season as the third-stringer. He played well in relief against Vanderbilt (14-for-23 passing), struggled at home against Texas A&M (7-for-22 for 77 yards) and played more efficiently against Mississippi State on Saturday. In that game, a 49-27 blowout, he was 8-of-15 for 112 yards, two touchdowns and an interception.

Pribula, a Penn State transfer, began the season in a battle with veteran Sam Horn Jr. for the starting job. With both players expecting to split snaps in the opener, Horn suffered a fractured tibia in his right leg in the opener against Central Arkansas. He had surgery in early September and is expected to miss the season.

Pribula worked out on the field before Missouri’s game against Mississippi State last week, a sign that a return could be soon.

Pribula has emerged as an effective dual-threat quarterback in the SEC, completing just under 70% of his passes. He has thrown for 11 touchdowns and seven interceptions and run for 220 yards on 71 carries. He has scored five rushing touchdowns.

Pribula’s best game of the year came against Kansas on Sept. 6, when he threw for 334 yards and three touchdowns on 30-of-39 passing.

Continue Reading

Sports

AD Rhoades exits Baylor, week after taking leave

Published

on

By

AD Rhoades exits Baylor, week after taking leave

Baylor on Thursday announced the departure of athletic director Mack Rhoades, effective immediately.

Rhoades, who had been the AD at Baylor since July 2016, suddenly took a leave of absence from the position for personal reasons last week. He told ESPN’s Heather Dinich at the time that he initiated the leave.

“I find myself in a season of life where I need to prioritize my faith and my family with an intentional focus that requires me to move on from my role as caretaker of this great athletics program,” Rhoades said in a statement on Thursday night.

Along with stepping away from Baylor, Rhoades also left his role as chair of the College Football Playoff selection committee.

After Rhoades began his leave on Nov. 12, the private Big 12 school said it was investigating unspecified allegations against him. The status of that investigation, or if it is still ongoing, was not immediately clear after he left the job.

The school, without giving further details, said last week that allegations against Rhoades did not involve Title IX, student-athlete welfare or NCAA rules violations, and did not involve the football program.

In a letter to the university announcing the move, Baylor president Linda Livingstone did not give a reason for his departure.

“Since joining Baylor in 2016, Mack has led our athletics program through a period of remarkable rebuilding and achievement,” Livingstone said. “During his tenure, Baylor claimed numerous Big 12 championships, made countless postseason appearances and earned national titles in several sports, including historic wins that will forever be etched in our collective memory. These victories were not just about athletic excellence — they were moments that brought the Baylor Family together, united in joy and spirit.”

Livingstone also commended Rhoades’ influence “beyond the scoreboard,” adding: “Within the Big 12 Conference and across the country, he is widely recognized as a defender of the important role athletics plays on college and university campuses.”

Rhoades is a veteran in the athletic director space, with prior stops as the AD at Missouri, Houston and Akron. His tenure includes the hiring of Matt Rhule and eight national titles, including one for Scott Drew’s men’s basketball program.

The ability to retain Drew and build the proper infrastructure and support around him has been a hallmark of Rhoades’ tenure.

“The incredible community that is the Baylor family is the absolute best of the best,” Rhoades said in his statement. “Together, we won national championships, established records in academics and fundraising, and built world-class facilities. I will forever cherish the memories and friendships I made as a Baylor Bear.”

Rhoades’ tenure included stabilizing the athletic department on the field after the tumultuous and litigious tenure of former football coach Art Briles. The hiring of Rhule pulled the program out of the depths, and current coach Dave Aranda went on to win the Big 12 title in 2021 and beat Ole Miss in the Sugar Bowl that year.

Rhoades’ predecessors as athletic director, Ian McCaw and Tom Stanton, left amid issues surrounding Briles and former basketball coach Dave Bliss, respectively.

The Associated Press contributed to this report.

Continue Reading

Trending