Connect with us

Published

on

Well, both Joe Biden and Donald Trump have clinched the nomination of their parties to run for re-election, which means historically this will be the longest general election in history between a pair of candidates too old for the job whom no one wants to see run again except those Republican voters who love Donald Trump and those Democrat voters who feel, well, at least Biden is not a goggle-eyed socialist lunatic like every other Democrat but only a senile semi-dead man being used like a ventriloquists dummy by a cabal of goggle-eyed socialist lunatics who hope they can destroy American freedom before anyone realizes theyre holding Biden upright by his shirtsleeves like in Weekend at Bernies although in this case Bernie is the goggle-eyed socialist holding Bernie up because Bernie is Joe and Joe is Bernie.

With a Biden-Trump rematch bearing down on us like a locomotive and America tied to the tracks screaming Help! Help! in a high-pitched voice in the hope some Canadian Mountie will rescue her, which seems unlikely since the Canadians are now a bunch of Left-wing fascists, corporate media outlets are assigning their best journalists to cover the all-important beat of what Trump will do in their hysterical womanish imaginations if hes re-elected.

For instance, CNNs Van Jones, reporting from his womanish imagination, said, If Trump is re-elected, Russian troops will march across western Europe in my womanish imagination until the whole world is as hysterical as I am. Trump will imprison his political opponents and destroy democracy which is why we have to put Trump in prison and let people vote by simply driving by the polling place and shouting Joe Bidens name out the window or what sounds to me like Joe Bidens name even if its Donald Trumps. This is Van Jones, reporting from my womanish imagination.

CNN Chief Executive Solitary McLonesome spoke about the new assignments in a speech to his childhood friend Pooky the Teddy Bear, saying, Listen, Pooky, we have got to go all out covering the Trump atrocities that will occur in our womanish imaginations or well be left behind in reality with a senile corruptocrat president ruining everything, and you know our audience doesnt want reality, Pooky-poo, because you are our audience. WATCH: The Andrew Klavan Show

MSNBC has given Joe Scarborough the assignment of reporting on the imaginary bad things Trump will do if re-elected because of Scarboroughs long experience on the womanish imagination beat. NBC News President Idie OLog speaking to an inflatable life-sized El Chapo she keeps hidden in her bedroom closet said Viewers feel they can trust Joe Scarborough because they look into his eyes and see a cavernous darkness where his soul used to be, so they understand he will give them a full report on the terrible things Trump will do in his womanish imagination if re-elected, instead of the horrible truth about whats happening right now, which would just be disturbing, oh mi corazon.

As a model of expert coverage of the womanish imagination beat, journalists around the country are turning to the New York Times, a former newspaper, and their opinion page, known throughout the industry as Knucklehead Row. One shining example of the Timess Pulitzer Prize winning womanish imagination coverage came in a column by Charles Blows entitled, What Trump will do in My Womanish Imagination if he is Re-Elected. The column begins, When I consider the possibility that Trump will be re-elected, I peer into my womanish imagination and see a devastating vision of utter chaos created by journalists shrieking about whats happening in their womanish imaginations. The stories about Donald Trump rampaging through our hysterical daydreams will absolutely destroy our country by causing violent leftists to burn down cities while we pretend they arent because Trump is not doing the horrible things that we pretend he is.

At the Washington Post, leftist womanish imagination reporter Dana Milbank took a more humorous tack in a column and this is a real column called My Month of Living Republicanly. Milbank visited gun shows and Christian outlets where he found stickers and posters with outlandish assertions that distort the truth. Next week, Milbank will uncover outlandish leftist assertions that distort the truth by reading the Washington Post.

* * *

Andrew Klavan is the host of The Andrew Klavan Show at The Daily Wire. He is the bestselling author of the Cameron Winter Mystery series. The third installment, The House of Love and Death, is now available. Follow him on X: @andrewklavan

This excerpt is taken from the opening satirical monologue of The Andrew Klavan Show.

The views expressed in this satirical article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.

Continue Reading

Business

Post Office spin doctor said he was in a ‘corporate cover up’ – years before apology issued to Horizon victims

Published

on

By

Post Office spin doctor said he was in a 'corporate cover up' - years before apology issued to Horizon victims

A former Post Office communications director told fellow employees he was at “the heart of a corporate cover-up”, at the same time as sub-postmaster prosecutions were taking place and years before an apology was made to victims.

The inquiry into faulty Horizon software, and the associated prosecution of 700 sub-postmasters for theft and false accounting, is taking place to establish a clear account of the implementation and failure of the Fujitsu created software.

As well as the wrongful convictions many more sub-postmasters racked up large debts, lost homes, livelihoods, and reputations as they borrowed heavily to plug Horizon’s incorrectly generated shortfalls in their Post Office branches.

The issue has received renewed attention after the January airing of ITV drama Mr Bates v The Post Office.

An email presented to the inquiry on Tuesday showed the Post Office’s former group communications and corporate affairs director Mark Davies believed he was part of a cover-up and conspiracy.

“It’s fascinating to be part of a conspiracy. To be at the heart of a corporate cover-up,” Mr Davies said in an email to Post Office communications staff, a legal team member, and another director.

Read more
Scottish govt plan to exonerate wrongly convicted sub-postmasters
Review ordered into another Post Office IT system
New redress body rejected by government

More on Post Office Scandal

At the time the email was sent, in January 2015, the Post Office was prosecuting sub-postmasters using data from Horizon.

It wasn’t until 2019 that an apology was issued to sub-postmasters as part of their successful High Court challenge of Horizon and related prosecutions.

Please use Chrome browser for a more accessible video player

A barrister representing sub-postmasters and sub-postmistresses has told Sky News there is evidence of faults with some

‘Blaming the journalists’

Despite this, it was known at the time that branch accounts could be accessed and altered remotely by the maker Fujitsu or by the Post Office IT helpdesk.

Mr Davies, appearing at the inquiry, said he thought this remote access was only used once when asked why one of his employees said the idea of remote access was “totally loony” and a “conspiracy theory”.

Emails sent by him were consistently “blaming the journalists” for asking questions about Horizon failings, a barrister for the inquiry Julian Blake said.

Follow Sky News on WhatsApp
Follow Sky News on WhatsApp

Keep up with all the latest news from the UK and around the world by following Sky News

Tap here

It was a characterisation accepted by Mr Davies, who said: “With the benefit of hindsight, they absolutely, some of [the emails] look ludicrous, I agree.”

A report into Horizon flaws conducted by forensic accountants Second Sight commissioned by Post Office had identified bugs but Mr Davies and his team viewed its authors as lacking independence.

Second Sight were “colluding” with sub-postmasters, Mr Davies said in an email to the Post Office’s then chief executive Paula Vennells.

Various emails shown to Mr Davies on Tuesday described journalists and Second Sight as “attackers” and media reports as “sloppy”.

Additional reporting by Evan Dale.

Continue Reading

Business

Labour leader reassures union bosses in row over workers’ rights plans – but it’s not over yet

Published

on

By

Labour leader reassures union bosses in row over workers' rights plans – but it's not over yet

Sir Keir Starmer has moved to reassure trade union bosses about his party’s plans to strengthen workers’ rights, after he was accused of watering them down.

The party has promised a radical shake-up for workers if they win office – including banning zero hours contracts, employment rights from day one, and ending the practice of “fire and rehire”.

The new deal for working people was billed as the biggest advance in workers’ rights for decades when first unveiled by Angela Rayner in 2021.

The party made some changes last summer, but union bosses claimed a new document circulated to them last week was an attempt to row back further on these commitments.

Sharon Graham, the general secretary of the Unite union, called the new document – which has not been made public – a “betrayal” and “unrecognisable” from the original plans.

Politics latest: Sunak’s speech ‘should be investigated’, say Lib Dems

With tensions running high, bosses of trade unions affiliated to Labour met with Sir Keir, deputy leader Angela Rayner and shadow chancellor Rachel Reeves and agreed to scrap the new draft.

More on Labour

In a joint statement they said: “Labour and the affiliated unions had a constructive discussion today. Together we have reiterated Labour’s full commitment to the new deal for working people as agreed in July.

“We will continue to work together at pace on how a Labour government would implement it in legislation.”

Union sources who feared the Labour leadership were bowing to pressure from big business ahead of the election, claimed the party had been talked into a retreat.

After three hours at Labour’s south London headquarters – although it is understood Sir Keir was not there for the whole meeting – Ms Graham said Labour’s position had changed.

 Sharon Graham
Image:
Unite leader Sharon Graham

She told Sky News: “It was constructive. I think it was really important to have the workers’ voices heard in the meeting itself, because we wanted to reaffirm our position that the New Deal for Working People must be implemented.

“We’ve got a really good position where that has been recommitted to. We’re meeting again in three weeks’ time after we put some information together to discuss a new document. It was a crunch meeting. It was a red line meeting. But I think we’ve got there.” She added: “I think it [Labour’s position] has changed”.

The new deal had originally come with a promise that an “employment rights bill” to legislate for it would be introduced within 100 days of winning power, although this is now seen as unrealistic.

Some changes were agreed last summer at the national policy forum, a gathering of party officials, MPs and union leaders, which the Unite boss claimed was an attempt to “curry favour with big business”.

The Financial Times reported last week that a new draft included even more business-friendly language on fire and rehire – essentially sacking workers and hiring them back on less favourable terms.

The paper reported that it contained a line about the importance of allowing businesses to “restructure to remain viable and preserve their workforce when there is genuinely no alternative”.

It was also claimed that zero hours contracts would not be completely banned because some people choose to have them – but give workers rights to a contract reflecting their usual work pattern.

Labour has also promised to bring in fair pay agreements for social care workers, which a right-wing research group Policy Exchange claimed could add £225 to the average council tax bill.

Read more:
Labour ‘shouldn’t return money to union backer’
Rayner’s plan for workers’ rights sets up key battle

Sir Keir’s party has already pruned back their 2021 plans to invest £28bn in green energy, after a protracted battle within the party.

Union leaders will be holding Sir Keir and his shadow chancellors’ feet to the fire to ensure another of his party’s more radical dividing lines does not go the same way, under the glare of an election campaign.

But despite the smiles today, this is a row delayed, with more wrangling to be done.

Continue Reading

Politics

Tory MPs share despair at PM’s top team over Commons vote in leaked WhatsApps

Published

on

By

Tory MPs share despair at PM's top team over Commons vote in leaked WhatsApps

The frustration and despair of Tory MPs felt towards Rishi Sunak’s top team is revealed in leaked WhatsApp messages obtained by Sky News.

One MP called the parliamentary operation a “shitshow” and “crazy”, while another said they were “at a loss” at the handling of a crunch Monday night vote on excluding MPs arrested on suspicion of serious sexual or violent offences.

They echo comments Tory MPs have made privately to Sky News.

Politics latest: UK to build new warship

There is fury today among Tory MPs after most found themselves on the losing side of a vote on a Lib Dem and Labour motion to exclude any MP arrested for a serious offence from the parliamentary estate, which would bring Westminster into line with many other workplaces.

The bulk of Tory MPs backed a different plan – to exclude MPs at the point of charge, arguing that MPs could easily become the target of vexatious complaints.

It was a free vote, which meant MPs did not have to vote on party lines.

More on Conservatives

However, in a move that baffled Conservative MPs, when the Commons came to vote to overturn the opposition motion, the Tory whips did not put up “tellers” – vote counters – and so it could not be held, meaning the opposition motion passed.

This often happens because of disorganisation or confusion about events in the chamber, and often marks a failing of either the Tory whips or the Commons leader’s office – figures appointed by Mr Sunak.

The WhatsApps show a government minister – Anne Marie Trevelyan – summoning Tories after initially losing the Lib Dem vote: “Anyone on estate who didn’t vote on amendment O please return asap! Lost amend by one vote. Otherwise the decision is arrest Not charge.”

Other Tories – Jill Mortimer and Jack Brereton – add weight to the appeal to vote down the Lib Dem motion, as does minister Greg Hands.

Brendan Clarke-Smith calls the Lib Dem plan to exclude MPs from parliament on arrest “an attack on basic civil liberties”.

Follow Sky News on WhatsApp
Follow Sky News on WhatsApp

Keep up with all the latest news from the UK and around the world by following Sky News

Tap here

However, Cambridgeshire MP Anthony Browne suddenly announces three minutes later: “Division off!”

There is incredulity with Pauline Latham demanding to know what has happened, adding: “This is crazy.”

Conservative MP Angela Richardson. Pic: House of Commons
Image:
Conservative MP Angela Richardson said the vote was a shitshow. Pic: House of Commons

Miriam Cates explains to colleagues there were no tellers, Angela Richardson says “what a shitshow!”, Andrea Leadsom says “A sad day”. Ms Cates says: “I am completely at a loss to understand why those of us who shouted ‘no’ were not told that there were no tellers” – indicating frustration with Mr Sunak’s parliamentary operation.

Mr Clarke-Smith says: “Angela better hope her interview goes well then. Unbelievable.” This is a reference to Angela Rayner, who is currently under police investigation and could be interviewed under caution in coming weeks. She denies all allegations and has not been arrested and Labour says this will not happen, but even if she were, she would not be excluded because the reason for arrest is unlikely to pass the serious offence test.

👉 Listen above then tap here to follow Electoral Dysfunction wherever you get your podcasts 👈

The dialogue concludes with Mr Brereton saying: “We’re all going to be banned from the estate now…” and Ms Cates saying, “Watch the vexatious complaints roll in…”

One Tory said there was an “end of days vibe” in the Tory Party and the messages were evidence of a “meltdown” because the Tory whips can’t handle simple votes.

They too call it a “shitshow”.

Continue Reading

Trending